Submission | Ephesians 5:22 | Women
- Jane Isley
- Jul 25
- 7 min read
Updated: Sep 3
About to blow your mind.....
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”
Definitely a touchy subject, and I’m going to do my best to break this down and explain a few things to relieve some of the tensions out there.
This verse has been used for centuries against women in the wrong way, now I’m talking about human nature, not God’s intention. The two are not mutually exclusive here; when it comes to understanding what this verse means, you have to go back to what God intended it to be, not what man has turned it into.
For clarification, I am not some hot-headed feminist, so that is not where any of this is coming from; I’m coming at this based on the Bible and specifically this chunk of verses.
Now, normally, this is where I would pull up the word “submit” in this verse in the original language and present it to you along with other facts, except I can’t in this case.
Curious as to why I can’t?
Because the word never existed in this verse in the first place.
I’m not kidding. The oldest manuscripts never had that word there.
Breaking this down.
First, Ephesians 5:21–23 is split into three verses, but it should be read as a whole, without weight being put more heavily on one section over the other. (How the Bible was originally intended before verses were put in.)
“Be submitting yourselves to one another in reverence of Christ: [the] wives, to the own husbands, as to the Lord; for [the] husband is head of the wife, as also Christ [is the] head of the church, He Himself of the body.” (1)
Now let’s take a quick look at the entire passage to get a feel for what Paul was saying, because again, remember, these verses go together.
“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”(2)
I apologize, but I couldn’t find a translation that didn’t include submit, so please disregard that for the purpose of what I’m getting at.
Meant as a whole.
The first thing to notice is “be filled with the Spirit,” (remember that for later), then “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Verse 21 is an equal command to both husband and wife.
The submit part there for wives was added later by someone and never corrected or removed, and husbands are directed to love their wives in verse 25. It is not until verse 24 that “submit” is actually in there regarding women. I’ll be explaining the importance of that as we go on.
Greek and their verbs.
From what I have learned, it wasn’t uncommon in ancient Greek for the sense of a stated verb to continue in following phrases or sentences without the verb needing to be restated. Totally get that and not arguing with that.
But the issue is that originally “submit” in that one section still wasn’t there to begin with, yet it shows up in verse 24? When, by going by this rule alone, none of that makes sense, then.
All the other verbs were missed.
“Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
The entire point of the passage before verse 21 was completely missed, and “submit” was added where it was never intended to be added. If it was meant to be there, then it would have been added just like it was for verse 24, or added, and verse 24 would have been left blank, and this Greek verb thingy would have applied there.
Verses 18–20 ARE the Bible’s clear definition of what “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” means, united. Husbands and wives must first be united, doing the same things, jointly. They were addressed equally in this command.
Inference.
This was an inference that occurred here because, as stated, it was never originally in there, and they didn’t follow their own rules about verbs. Let’s face it, women have been knocked down a lot of pegs in Christianity, it’s historically proven beyond a shadow of a doubt, and where better to fudge things a little than right there?
So while the emphasis then fell on the women to submit because we are the weaker vessel (that’s not an insult btw), not on the men. The beauty and meaning of the passage as a whole have been lost and abused.
This is a dual command, an equal command to each other, done out of love and respect. Remember, mankind’s rules, moral glitches, and sinful nature are not God’s. Just because someone put that word in there at that time and mankind took off with it, does not mean this is what God wanted.
Now, things get interesting.
Submit, in the English language as we define it, would not even be the correct word to begin with if people were starting the translation process this days in age.
Here’s why — there is a definite, laid-out structure in the marriage unit. The man is supposed to lead the family.
It goes like this — God, Husband, Wife, Children.
Trust me, there’s nothing wrong or insulting about this setup; it’s there for a protective reason. Now we need to understand better what “submit” actually means, because to submit equally using the English definition of the word takes away from the marriage structure that is laid out for us.
So we have to learn what submitting ACTUALLY means.
First thing — we have to remove the English thinking and the historical abuse of this word, and look at it fresh without any prejudice, which thankfully, scholars have done, so I can quote you a whole bunch of stuff for you.
“Specifically, I suggested that rather than submit, “in context, υποτασσομαι (hupotassomai) probably means to deploy yourself in support of your spouse against the enemy. In fact, I would suggest that a better translation might be something like one of these:”
“Wives, support your husbands.”
“Wives, deploy yourselves in support of your husbands.”
“Wives, arrange yourselves for battle for your husbands.” (4)
“Following recent discoveries relating to our understanding of the word hupotasso, many linguists and lexicographers today are inclined to refer to this approach as an “etymological fallacy.” For example, if we used the principles of etymology, we would never understand such words as greenhouse, lighthouse or honeymoon.”
“Hupotasso, according to recent studies, should probably be translated and reframed in terms of “identifying with,” “being united to,” “alignment,” “partnering together” or “supporting one another” (3)
“Recent scholarship has made clear the understanding the people to whom these letters were written would have of hupotasso, the word translated submit. It is critical that the Biblical meaning of the word become the standard and that we rid ourselves of inaccurate and misleading understanding through faulty translation. Indeed the English word “submit” is properly translated by hupeiko, with dative “submit to”.
“ The New Testament word hupotasso is a common word meaning to be in support of and was used of attached/appended (supporting) documents in the postal system.”
“In the context of biblical relationships between men and women, the best meaning of hupotasso is “to identify with or support” (This is an incredibly strong and all-encompassing thought.) It has nothing to do with being subordinate to, secondary to, or subject to. The correct meaning is especially important and clear when considered against the cultural backdrop, that is to say, when it is understood in the light of the marriage customs and the culture of the people to whom Paul was writing.” (5)
How about them apples?
Now, doesn’t that make a little bit more sense? Jesus treated everyone as equals; in fact, He went out of His way to lift women up from what humanity had done to them. Read The Shocking Truth About Jesus’ Relationships With Women by Nils von Kalm.
Also, this may not appear to be related, but it actually is. Matthew 19: 4–6
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Bringing it back to Genesis.
Jesus brought it back to the beginning, where both men and women were equal, both having dominion over the Earth.
The marriage structure we have now, after the fall (and yes, there is more we could go into, but for today, I think this is enough to start with), is for a reason. Ladies, we are the weaker sex; that's just a fact. Christian men carry a burden we do not, just as we carry a burden they do not, but together the burdens are to be carried as one.
It is vital to reevaluate the word submit and understand the marriage structure, what it means, that it IS NOT restrictive and that mankind screwed this all up, not God. If you are both following Christ, none of this would even be an issue in the first place.
It never has been in my marriage, and I’m the loud-mouthed, outspoken, spicy one of the two of us, but we both —
“be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
And guess what?
None of that gender power stuff going on in the world happens in this home.
Sources, References & Recommended Reads:
(1) Biblehub.com
(2) Ephesians 5:18–23 NIV
(3) The Word 4 Life: Hupotasso: Submit, subject or something else?
(5) God’s Word to Women: Word Study
Abusive Spouses, Divorce, and the Bible, by: Jane Isley.
The Shocking Truth About Jesus’ Relationships With Women, by: Nils von Kalm.
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