Knowing the Right Thing and Actually Doing It?

When your brain agrees with Jesus but your feet still walk the other way

“We can know what we’re supposed to do. We can want to do it. But none of that matters if we don’t actually do it.”— Brené Brown

I’m not writing this because I’ve figured it out.

I’m writing it because I haven’t.

Because this morning I ignored a nudge to send a kind text. Because last week I snapped at someone and never said sorry. Because I know better. And I still don’t always do better.

But I want to.

Not to earn anything. Just to live like the person I say I am.

So yeah. Knowing’s the easy part. But the doing — that’s where the rubber meets the soul.

It’s like your brain is nodding yes, but your feet? They’re walking in the other direction. Am I the only one? I doubt it. But, there is hope.

Happens all the time.

Now, I’m not talking about some big, villainous, “destroy the world” kind of way. I mean the quiet stuff. The daily stuff. The kind of right thing that no one will notice if you don’t do it — but you’ll know.

So why don’t we do it?

I don’t know. Or maybe I do and I just don’t want to admit it.

Sometimes I’m scared. Sometimes I’m tired. Sometimes I don’t want to deal with the fallout. Sometimes I just flat-out don’t feel like being the bigger person.

It feels like too much work to be wise and kind and brave all in the same breath. It’s so much easier to scroll. Give them of piece of your mind. Or just shut down.

[Just be careful how many pieces of your mind you give away. You need what you’ve got].

There’s a kind of comfort in delay, right?

Like, “I’ll apologize later,” or “I’ll do that thing when I’m more rested,” or “I just need to pray about it a little longer.” Which is often code for I don’t wanna…or gonna.

We get good at dressing up hesitation like it’s discernment.

Knowing doesn’t cost much. Doing does.

I’ve sat through enough church services to know what Jesus said about loving people, forgiving enemies, helping the least of these. That’s not the problem. I know. You know.

Most of us know.

But doing it? Especially when you’re smack in the middle of a political culture that’s driving at breakneck speed the other way. When should you allow it to form you.

Isn’t that Paul’s instruction the Romans to not be pressed into the worlds mold?

Sometimes, doing the right thing means stopping mid-argument and saying, “You’re right.” It means giving up the need to win. Or walking across the room when you’d rather stay in your little safe corner.

Honestly, sometimes I think I’d rather write a ten-page essay on the ethics of forgiveness than actually forgive someone who hurt me.

How about you?

Now, don’t misunderstand. You can forgive and still not let the offender breathe your airspace. Restoration is a whole different ball of wax from forgiveness.

So what helps?

Nothing magic. Just practice. And grace. And being okay with screwing it up sometimes. In other words, I’m not saying you should ignore not doing the right thing. I’m saying to not beat yourself up over it. That will never get you closer.

I also think it helps to stop waiting to feel like doing the right thing.

Because that moment? It’s flaky. Some days it doesn’t come. But doing it anyway, even when the feelings lag behind, kind of begins rewires something in you. Makes it easier next time.

And sometimes, honestly, I think we’ve overcomplicated obedience. We’ve spiritualized it, theologized it, overanalyzed it until it’s this giant mountain no one wants to climb.

But maybe it’s just — showing up…or shutting up. Instead, using our mouths to say the humble thing.

After all, isn’t that one of the Lord’s requirements?

“…to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with God.” (Micah 6:8)

Owning your part. Letting someone else go first. It’s not flashy. It doesn’t get applause. But it’s real.

Seven specifics I’ve found helpful

You might want to try these on for size.

1. Make it small enough to actually do

If the right thing feels big and overwhelming, your brain will do gymnastics to avoid it. Break it down.

Instead of: “I need to reconcile with my brother.”Try: “I’ll text him a simple, honest check-in. No speeches. Just a start.”

Small steps lower the resistance.

2. Set a simple time frame

Don’t wait for “when you feel ready.” You probably won’t.

Try this:“Within the next 10 minutes, I will…”Or“Before lunch, I’ll…”When the timing is vague, the action stays imaginary.

3. Visualize the outcome

Seriously. It may sound to “woke,” but it helps. Picture what it’ll feel like to have done the right thing. That sense of peace. That deep breath. That weight off your chest.

Your brain sometimes needs a reason to push through the discomfort. Show it what’s on the other side.

4. Lower the emotional temperature

When you’re hot with emotion — angry, hurt, anxious — it’s ten times harder to act with integrity. Pause. Take a walk. Write an angry note and delete it. Breathe. Then do the thing from a clearer, calmer place.

5. Tie it to your identity

Remind yourself: “I’m someone who does hard things. I’m someone who tells the truth. I’m someone who shows up, even if things have gone sideways.”

When the action lines up with who you want to be, it gets easier to follow through.

6. Give yourself permission to do it badly

Perfectionism is a master procrastinator. You don’t need to do it perfectly. You just need to do it honestly.

Your apology doesn’t have to be poetic.Your kindness doesn’t need a filter or a hashtag. It just needs to be real.

But, what if they don’t accept my apology? They might not. But they might. But, in the long run, it doesn’t matter if they accept it or not. You’ve done what’s right and that’s what matters.

7. Don’t forget your power source.

Human effort isn’t enough. As Paul said, “I can do all things through Christ Who give me strength.”

He also said, “Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24) He then says in verse :25, “Thanks be to God by means of Jesus Christ.”

In John 16, Jesus says He’s sending the Holy Spirit to be our Helper. He wants to help us with anything and everything that concerns and confronts our daily lives.

© Gary L Ellis