"Does marriage have the power to save you?" This is a common question asked by many Christians– especially Christian women. Recently, I read a book titled Holy Unhappiness by Amanda Held Opelt that discusses the myth of the prosperity gospel, along with this question. If you are unfamiliar with the prosperity gospel, it is the teaching that “faith — expressed through positive thoughts, positive declarations, and donations to the church — draws health, wealth, and happiness into believers’ lives” (Britannica). While this sounds nice, it is not God’s reality. Unfortunately, we live in a sinful world, and while positive thoughts and donations may make some difference, they will not stop our world from being broken. Because of this brokenness and need for God, we often chase after things that we think will save us. This ties directly to women’s self-worth, which is often defined by marriage and childbearing. It is a common misconception among many Christians that women are only saved by marrying and having children. For years, women have been stripped of validation if they are single and childless. I see it on social media all the time– mostly men (sometimes women) putting down other women for not living up to their expectations. This makes me sick to my stomach, and it shows just how much we idolize marriage and having children (mainly for women). Let’s get something straight: marriage and childbirth do not save a woman. They don’t make a woman any more validated or important. The only thing that saves any of us is Jesus. Why are we putting these two things above our Lord and Savior? Why are we not recognizing the worth and beauty that God has given every single woman? “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). I think that our society has strayed so far away from God and His intended purpose for us that we misinterpret Bible verses and we make them fit our own agenda. Our world often puts women below men, when in reality we were made equally for one another. We need each other, instead of putting the other gender down, let us recognize these common misconceptions and allow Jesus to heal the brokenness between us. Marriage In a Christian society, a single woman (typically older) is often looked down upon for not being married. Many people think that marriage can save a woman and make her better. While I do think that marriage can make both men and women better people, it can not truly ‘save’ anyone. Again, Christian societies often idolize marriage and put it above Jesus. This is not okay and should not be encouraged. Additionally, with marriage, people often misunderstand the word ‘submission’ and how the wife fits into that. There are many Bible verses that people take out of context with this idea, often used to make women feel less than. “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body. And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to Christ” (Ephesians 5: 22–24). “A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is” (1 Corinthians 7:4). “In the same way you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are the weaker sex.” (1 Peter 3:7). When you read these verses, how do they make you feel? Because I know at first glance they made me very uncomfortable, and some of them made me angry (especially the last verse). And while the Bible is not meant to make us feel comfortable at all times, something feels off with these verses. After all, we know that God is just. Turns out… these verses are actually taken out of context, and they are not the full verses! So below, I attached the rest of them. “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it… Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5: 25 & 28). “In the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is” (1 Corinthians 7:4). “Treat them with respect, because they also will receive, together with you, God’s gift of life” (1 Peter 3:7). So now that we have these verses in full context, we know that both husbands and wives have duties towards one another. Both people have to make sacrifices and submit to each other in one way or another. Women aren’t supposed to be doing all of the work in the relationship… women are not called to blindly submit to their husbands and be subjected to abuse and total control. Wives are supposed to work with their husbands and submit to God, above all. A church service I went to this year in April explained this beautifully. Marriage means that husbands have to die to themselves (as Jesus died for us) and lead from a place of humility. So this essentially means that husbands have to let go of their selfish desires, and instead allow God to shine through the relationship. Through this, a safe space is created for wives to also let go of their selfish desires and fully respect their husbands. Even in times where the husband may be struggling or failing (excusing any kind of abuse), wives should respect their husbands and try to assist them in the best way they can. Before I move on to the next topic, I want to address the last verse I mentioned: 1 Peter 3:7. Paul does write that women are the ‘weaker sex,’ and I want to clarify this. There is a lot of speculation on why he wrote this that way, and some scholars argue that he means this physically or emotionally. Rather than trying to make women seem ultimately inferior and unequal to men, many think (including myself) that Paul means it differently. Possibly, because men are (on average) physically stronger than women OR women are usually more emotionally sensitive (this is not as scientifically backed up, but I do see this play out in my own life). I do think it is very beneficial (especially mentally) to have a strong male figure in every woman’s life (whether that be a father, friend, husband). And by the way… emotional sensitivity is not a bad thing! I actually think that it is amazing to use to help understand and connect with people. Back to my main point, marriage does not truly ‘save’ anyone. The Bible never specifically states this, and if you really want to know what can save you… it’s pretty obvious: Jesus. While marriage is absolutely beneficial and is a gift from God, don’t idolize it to the point where you will treat the opposite gender with disrespect and hatred. Don’t idolize it to the point where you count on it to make you infinitely happier… because while it should cause happiness, it will not be sunshine and rainbows every day. And definitely don’t count on it to save your soul. Child bearing Another common Christian misconception is that a woman is ONLY saved through having children. This is a more personal concept for me, because I have never wanted to have children. I am not the biggest fan of little kids, and having kids has never excited or resonated with me. So imagine how much it stings when I hear from people (unfortunately mostly men) that women are only made worthy by having children. Or when people say that I’ll change my mind (I might, but hearing that is so annoying, honestly). And what makes it worse is this misunderstanding of this verse below: “But a woman will be saved through having children, if she preserves in faith and love and holiness, with modesty” (1 Timothy 2:15). I have prayed so much about this to God, thinking that I may just be too stubborn to accept His will… but I have never once felt or heard from God that His will is for me to have children. Maybe in the future, but I don’t feel that calling now (thankfully because Lord, I’m still in college!) Reading Holy Unhappiness, as mentioned above, was like an answered prayer for me on this situation. It made me realize how much childbearing is idolized in women and how it does not save a woman’s soul. I will not stop repeating this: only Jesus can save us. For some reason, many people believe that women are only here to procreate, and nothing else. But in Genesis, God states that He created women so that men would have a companion (Genesis 2:18). Not to solely create children, but to share the gift of life in friendship, marriage, and harmony. Concerning the 1 Timothy verse, it is often notoriously debated. Clearly, it cannot mean that childbearing spiritually saves a woman, because it directly contradicts Christ’s salvation in ourselves. Some argue (and I agree with this interpretation) that it may describe how childbirth brings fulfillment in a woman’s life. While this may be true (especially emotionally and biologically), it does not bring complete fulfillment. There are still struggles and pains along with having a child– it’s not always sunshine and rainbows. My point is, childbearing is also idolized to the point where people think it can fully save them and fix their lives. While it does bring joy to many and it brings another sense of purpose, it should not be weaponized to force all women to have children. After all, Jesus is the only person who can truly save us. “When Jesus had said this, a woman spoke up from the crowd and said to him, ‘How happy is the woman who bore you and nursed you!’ But Jesus answered, ‘Rather, how happy are those who hear the word of God and obey it!” (Luke 11:27–28). In conclusion, we are only fully fulfilled and saved by Jesus. It is a shame that women are often subjected to the idolatry of both marrying and having children, although that is not what saves our souls. It is time to realize that God made both men and women in His image– therefore we are both special to Him. We are both validated and made worthy by Him. While marriage and childbearing are beautiful gifts from Him, we must not idolize them. And this includes how men should quit idolizing complete control over women and their autonomy. That is God’s job — he has the power to advise what we can and cannot do. We should respect both genders and leave everything in God’s hands. I pray this message would plant a seed in your heart, and I hope you enjoyed this article. © 2026 Sienna Krieg Want more content like this? Explore more articles in Culture & Faith Related Reads: 🕊️ Prt 1: Does God Devalue Women? Understanding Scripture Beyond Misogyny ⚔️ Prt 2: Does God Devalue Women? Understanding Scripture Beyond Misogyny 📖 What Does Ephesians 5:22 Mean? Press Ctrl + P (Windows) or Cmd + P (Mac) to print this article or save it as a PDF.

I have always been fascinated by words and their origins. Recently, while navigating the heavy Southern California traffic, I found myself meditating on the word “grace” and what it truly means to give and receive it. This reflection led me to wonder why some specifically call the prayer of thanksgiving before a meal “grace.” What It Means to Give Grace To give grace graciously means to act in a way that is polite, kind, and pleasant. It describes behavior marked by good manners, generosity, or mercy, such as: Polite and Courteous: Acting with warm charm and respect toward others. Generous and Forgiving: Accepting a situation (like a loss or a gift) with good grace. Merciful: Showing compassion or undeserved favor. For example: “She graciously accepted the award and thanked her team.” “He graciously agreed to help us despite his busy schedule.” Where the Word Grace Comes From This understanding of grace as an action is deeply rooted in the history of the word itself. The practice of saying “grace” before a meal carries a specific etymological significance: The term comes from the Latin phrase gratiarum actio, which literally means an “act of thanks.” Over time, this was shortened in Old English to refer to the short prayers of thanksgiving offered before or after eating. Grace: Roots and Meaning: Latin Roots: The term traces back to gratia, meaning thanks or gratitude. Religious Tradition: It follows biblical examples where Jesus and his followers gave thanks to God before breaking bread. Acknowledgment: The short prayer reminds people that food is a gift and a blessing that sustains life. Sometimes, extending grace to others comes naturally when I am in a grateful state of mind, fully recognizing the mercy I have been shown. A vital part of this recognition is understanding the distinction between grace and mercy, and choosing gratitude for both. Grace vs. Mercy: The Real Difference The main difference between grace and mercy is that mercy is not getting the punishment you deserve, while grace is getting a good gift you did not earn. A helpful way to remember it is: mercy withholds a penalty, and grace gives a blessing. Letting Go of Control I am incredibly grateful for both in my life. This spirituality urges us to set aside ego, pride, and the need for control, replacing them with surrender, trust, and gratitude. Choosing to take these spiritual steps has altered my life in beautifully indescribable ways. Although it may seem paradoxical, adopting a “Let go, Let God” mindset is the most liberating choice I have ever made. This way of life frees me from unnecessary stress over things I cannot control — which, if I am honest, is almost everything, as control is often just an illusion. This peace is perfectly captured in the Sermon on the Mount: Do Not Worry (Matthew 6) “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you — you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:25–34 NIV Yes, Matthew 6 is the middle part of the Sermon on the Mount, which covers Matthew chapters 5, 6, and 7. Jesus shares teachings on living a sincere faith, giving to the needy, and trusting God. My last story was about my top 5 books. This sermon reminding us not to worry is included in book number one. Finding grace is not about perfection or avoiding life’s challenges, but about shifting our perspective. When we embrace gratitude, accept mercy, and learn to release our need for control, we open ourselves to a deeper peace that sustains us through the chaos of daily life. By seeking this balance every day, we find that we are never truly navigating the road alone. Questions for Reflection In what specific moment today could I have extended more grace to myself or someone else? How does the distinction between mercy (receiving good I didn’t earn) and grace (not receiving punishment I deserve) shift my perspective on a current struggle? What is one area of my life where I am currently trying to exert control, and how would “letting go” look in that situation? When I feel the weight of worry, what tangible reminder can I use to focus on gratitude instead? How can I practice “seeking first the kingdom” amidst the daily chaos of my schedule? © 2026 Nora Gwen Recommended Reads: 💜 "Father, Forgive Them": The Radical Mercy of the Cross If grace and mercy are gifts we never earned, the cross is where both meet. David explores how Jesus offered forgiveness in the very moment of injustice, and why salvation comes as a gift rather than a reward we manage to deserve. 💜 The Art of Responding with Grace, Not Reacting in Anger Letting go of control also means letting go of the need to strike back. Favour shows how pausing before we speak makes room for grace to work, turning reaction into peace and steadiness rooted in who we are in Christ. Press Ctrl + P (Windows) or Cmd + P (Mac) to print this article or save it as a PDF.

There’s a buzzword hanging around the block, and it’s roaring with popularity. It’s edgy, enticing, and pulling people in by the droves. The problem? This one is dangerous. Before you dive in and start tearing things apart, let’s take a look at some of the snares you will encounter. Where did it come from? Faith deconstruction occurs when a person questions, reevaluates, and potentially relinquishes some or all of their beliefs. At face value, it seems harmless. Everyone should, at some point, evaluate their faith and be sure of what they believe. However, the danger lies in the motive behind why someone chooses to deconstruct. There are many reasons someone would choose to embrace deconstruction, but the three most common I’ve seen are: Past church hurt or religious trauma Lack of solid Bible teaching Getting caught up in a trend Let’s talk about the things you need to know before you decide if deconstruction is a path you want to tread. #1: Past Hurt or Religious Trauma Church hurt is real and heartbreaking. Our churches should be the safest place for believers and non-believers alike, but the unfortunate reality is that many times, church is where some of the deepest wounds are inflicted. Take Jesus, for example. He should have been most welcome in and around the religious community. After all, weren’t they looking forward to the coming Messiah? However, that’s often where he was most rejected. The Jews even went so far as to call him demon-possessed after he taught about how they could be freed from sin. And that was during his early ministry, before he’d stirred things up. The Jews answered him, ‘Aren’t we right in saying that you are a Samaritan and demon-possessed?’ ~ John 8:48 Later, after he had continued preaching, teaching, and performing many miracles, one of his best friends turned him over to the authorities, and his own people asked for his crucifixion. And Judas went to the chief priests and the officers of the temple guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus. They were delighted and agreed to give him money. He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Jesus over to them when no crowd was present. ~ Luke 22:4–6 One of Jesus’ inner circle plotted, along with the leaders of the church, ways they could find him alone and capture him. That’s the ultimate church hurt. Jesus doesn’t want that for us. He doesn’t want us to be deeply wounded by those who call themselves his followers. A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. ~John 13:34–35 #2: Lack of Solid Bible Teaching This isn’t a new issue, but rather something that’s plagued the church since its start. Scripture warns us repeatedly about false teachers. But there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them — bringing swift destruction on themselves. ~2 Peter 2:1 Friend, I say this with all the loving kindness I can muster: If you are attending a church whose teaching isn’t aligned with Scripture, or only preaches stories about the Word instead of from the Word — RUN, don’t walk, to another one. Even Bible-believing, truth-seeking churches are bound to hurt people from time to time because we’re all human; however, in churches like the above, who don’t carefully handle the Word of God, it’s simply a matter of when you’ll be hurt. Not if. And that’s not what Jesus had in mind for his Bride, either. #3: Getting Caught up in a Trend Paul addresses this in his letter to the Roman church: Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will. ~ Romans 12:2 Fads come and go. We’ll see different movements become popular and fade away in our lifetime, but we should remain set apart from the world. As believers, we will never fit into whatever box society deems “normal.” This isn’t prideful, but a reflection of our purpose. If we are truly followers of Christ, we will always look different because the world constantly evolves while our God remains unchanged. He’s the same today as he was two thousand years ago, as he will be in another two thousand years (if Jesus hasn’t come for us by then). The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of our God stands forever. ~ Isaiah 40:8 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. ~ James 1:16–17 If we model our lives after the world, we will repeatedly find ourselves caught up in the next fad, both in lifestyle and theologically. When we seek to follow Christ, however, we are transformed in our thinking and our minds will be set on him, not what this world has to offer. Proceed with Caution As I promised at the beginning, I’m not going to talk you out of deconstruction. It could even be necessary if you come from a faith background practicing harmful theology. However, I urge you to evaluate your motive for exploring this path and prayerfully consider whether it’s wise. If you proceed, please make sure to do so with the guidance of your local pastor or a trusted, Bible-believing mentor. Thanks for reading! If any of this resonated with you, or you’d like to see more content like this, please consider subscribing so you’ll never miss out on a post. © 2025 Stephanie M. Press Ctrl + P (Windows) or Cmd + P (Mac) to print this article or save it as a PDF.

If I had only two children, I might have been a perfect parent. But God blessed me with child #3. Our biological son was raised in the same home, by the same parents as the first two kiddos, but when God knit him together in my womb, He gave my son a free spirit. So I gave him rules. When he was two, we spent the weekend with friends at their lake home. Mr. Free Spirit made a rude, not-worth-repeating comment to our host. Our friend could easily withstand an insult from an untamed toddler, but I demanded an apology from my son. He crossed his arms and shook his head. What he had said was the truth. Why should he apologize for speaking the truth? You must apologize to Mr. Host, or you won’t be allowed to go on the boat. I’m not apologizing. No boat. Mr. Free Spirit and I spent the afternoon alone in the cabin while everyone else enjoyed tubing and water skiing. I tried to show him the err in his ways. We need to treat others the way we want to be treated. How would you feel if someone said something rude to you? After an afternoon on a boatless timeout, we rejoined the party. It became quite obvious to me at this point which of my children would easily follow and spend eternity with Jesus, for everyone knows obedient children end up in Heaven, right? Just like obedient adults. Obedient adults follow the rules. They wake up to their alarms and get to work on time. The bills are paid on time, and they live within their means. While speeding may be against the law, it is possibly the only outward violation they commit on a regular basis. Occasional flirting, but not a full-blown affair, may be brushed off as within the bounds of marriage. The inner thoughts nobody knows about allow the obedient people to come across as, well, good. They are good people. Each of us has our own standards for how we separate the ‘good’ people from the ‘bad’ people. Good people are nice and friendly. They may smile as you pass them on the sidewalk. Bad people may yell swear words and spit as you pass them on the sidewalk. I could make a list of how my mind categorizes people into good and bad, but I’ll refrain. You have your own list. Ponder it. God created each of us with a natural disposition, which has then been molded and shaped by our upbringing. People gifted with a naturally compliant disposition have an easier time being good. People with a naturally contrary disposition have a more challenging time being good. So did God create some people to have an easier time making it into Heaven? If we were judged on our good works, then maybe that would be true, but God looks deeper. “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7b) The naturally compliant person here may actually be at a disadvantage. The more good they do, the more they are praised, which perpetuates a never-ending cycle of good works- praise - good works - praise. The ‘good’ person begins to accept the ‘fact’ that they are naturally good. If someone is already good, what do they need God for? They assume, of course, they are already good enough to enter the Pearly Gates. The deadly pitfall for the naturally compliant person is Pride. The naturally contrary person here may actually have the advantage. The more they try to be ‘good’, the more aware they become of their ‘badness’. As they become aware of their tendency towards sin, they also come to realize they will never be good enough. They need something, someONE, who will help them. They can’t live a ‘good’ life on their own. The life-giving gift of the naturally contrary person is Humility. My hands-on parenting days are over. Hubby and I are in the early stages of empty-nesterhood. I reflect a lot on what I should have done differently as a mom, knowing all the while that I did the best I could. My most recent thought is that I should have praised the compliant children less and given more grace to the contrary. “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left….Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” (Matthew 25:31-33, 46) First published in Pursuing Perfection on Substack by © Tessa Lind, tessalind.substack.com

What Mark 13:32 Reveals About the Nature of Christ "No One Knows the Day or Hour” There has recently been an exchange of opinions regarding Jesus between me and a Muslim student. It was a quiet encounter and quite interesting because it had a touch of déjà vu about it. When speaking about the New Testament, there were times it could have been a Jehovah’s Witness, Christadelphian, Atheist, or a graduate of Yale Divinity School at the other end. The common attribute between the Infidels and the Muslims was that neither of them demonstrated rigorous scrutiny. The same incomplete truths kept surfacing. The investigation doesn’t sift through all the evidence, which is common. This figure shows the frequency of the ordinary types of errors in the claims of error submitted to one of the Creation Websites. It can be seen that there are not that many, and one sticks out — lack of diligence — they stop too early. Another commonality is the recurring claim that Jesus could not be God because of what He said, He hoisted Himself with His own petard. Islam, in particular, applies the basic Laws of Logic to this. There is a lot of impressively heavy thinking. But there is an old proverb, ‘Paying attention is more important than thinking. You may end up thinking about the wrong thing.’ The difference between the pro-Christ and the anti-Christ is that the former searches for Truth and the latter halts at anything that could possibly be construed as a lie. There are a number of instances where Jesus separates Himself from the Father in Heaven. These have been well covered by other contributors to Medium; this article by Hope You Are Curious, for instance, so there is no point in re-ploughing that ground. You are strongly advised to read it. The focus here will be on what is written in Mark 13:32–33 “But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Take heed, watch and pray; for you do not know when the time is.” The simple logic applied here is, “God knows everything. Jesus admits He doesn’t know; ipso facto He can’t possibly be God.” This same objection gets tackled from a completely different angle in Does John 1:1 Say Jesus Is God or "a god?" — where the Greek text itself settles the question. Worth reading alongside this one. It is admitted that this verse, in particular, has vexed me for a long time. But this morning I was given an Ahasuerus (of Esther’s Xerxes fame) moment. The penny dropped at 02:10 am when the radio was switched on to hear the exact clip of this answer. It is written in Hebrews 2:14–18 "Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage. For indeed He does not give aid to angels, but He does give aid to the seed of Abraham. Therefore, in all things He had to be made like His brethren, that He might be a merciful and faithful High Priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted. Now read the famous Kenosis, expressed in Philippians 2:5–8. The key text is Philippians 2:7, where Paul writes that Christ “emptied himself” by: • Taking the form of a servant • Being born in human likeness • Humbling himself to the point of death, even death on a cross Reading these two texts together shows that Jesus took on the natural abilities of a mortal human. The Kenosis shows He didn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. In modern, cheap idiom, it could possibly be described as being in a Hiatus (between gigs). There was every intention of Him returning to His former Glory. For reasons best known to Himself, God has ordained His Redemption Plan to be as it is. [Don’t argue with me. Show Him where He is wrong when you get your chance.] So, for those who think along these lines, I have a question for you. Jesus was made to have the same natural abilities that you have. Can you tell the future? Remember, divination is a Capital Crime. Guesses don’t count. you don’t even know if you will be alive tomorrow. © ネ Brad Banardict

When Strength Became a Search for Control Alexandre Cabanel, The Fallen Angel (1847). Pride often wears the mask of victimhood, and deep insecurity frequently reveals itself as arrogance. There is perhaps no greater irony in modern Western Christianity than this: many of the men who enjoy some of the greatest religious freedom in history have become convinced that they are among society's most oppressed people. Across Christian media, podcasts, conferences, and social media feeds and men’s groups, they are repeatedly told that Christianity is under attack, masculinity is under attack, the family is under attack, and that nearly every cultural change represents another step toward their marginalization. For many believers, this message has become more than a political talking point; it has become a way of understanding the world. Victimhood is no longer something that occasionally describes their circumstances. It has become part of their identity. The tragedy is that this identity bears little resemblance to the men we encounter in Scripture. Obsession with Cultural Dominance Jesus never promised His followers cultural dominance or political influence. Instead, He warned them that faithfulness would often lead to suffering. "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:33) The apostles were imprisoned, beaten, mocked, and in many cases, executed because of their witness to Christ. Yet they did not define themselves by their suffering, nor did they cultivate resentment toward the culture around them. Peter wrote: "If you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name." (1 Peter 4:16) There is a profound difference between biblical persecution and modern grievance. The New Testament teaches believers to endure suffering with humility, perseverance, and hope. Much of contemporary Christian rhetoric, however, encourages believers to interpret every disagreement as hostility and every loss of cultural influence as persecution. Genuine persecution draws Christians closer to Christ. Victimhood often draws them toward anger, fear, and resentment. The Search for Someone to Blame Victimhood requires someone to blame. Listen long enough to many popular Christian commentators, and a familiar pattern emerges. Universities are corrupting the youth. Hollywood is destroying morality. The media is lying. Immigrants are changing the country. Muslims threaten the nation. Feminists have ruined the family and are dismantling civilization. Secularism is blamed for every cultural problem. The list of enemies grows longer each year, while opportunities for self-examination become increasingly rare. This approach stands in stark contrast to Scripture. The prophets repeatedly confronted Israel before condemning the surrounding nations. Jesus instructed His followers to remove the plank from their own eye before attempting to remove the speck from someone else's. The biblical pattern is repentance before accusation. Much of modern Christian discourse has reversed that order, encouraging believers to diagnose the sins of everyone else while ignoring the spiritual sickness within the church itself. The Obsession With Women Perhaps the most revealing consequence of a victim mentality is not merely that it breeds resentment—it changes where people look for significance. When men become convinced that they have been stripped of influence by governments, universities, corporations, the media, and an increasingly secular culture, they naturally begin searching for somewhere they can still exercise authority. If they believe they cannot shape the broader world, they often seek to shape the smaller one immediately around them. Too often, that place becomes the home and the church. It is remarkable how much of modern Christian discourse revolves around women. Conferences, podcasts, books, and ministries devote endless attention to what women should wear, whether they may preach, whether they should pursue careers, how they should raise children, whether they should attend college, how they should submit to their husbands, and where they belong within the church. Entire ministries have been built around defining the boundaries of biblical womanhood, while comparatively little attention is given to confronting the sins Scripture most frequently condemns in men—pride, greed, hypocrisy, anger, lust, the love of money, and the pursuit of power. This imbalance should cause Christians to pause. Jesus spoke far more about wealth than He ever did about gender roles. He warned repeatedly against pride, religious hypocrisy, and the desire for status. He condemned those who sought positions of honor while neglecting justice, mercy, and faithfulness. Yet in many churches today, conversations about women seem to occupy more space than conversations about becoming like Christ. That raises an uncomfortable question: Are we defending biblical truth, or are we trying to recover a sense of control? When insecurity disguises itself as conviction, theology can become a means of preserving authority rather than reflecting the character of Jesus. Christian leadership was never intended to be about securing one's place at the top of a hierarchy. It was always meant to resemble the One who knelt to wash His disciples' feet before carrying His cross. Theology Becoming a Tool for Insecurity None of this is to suggest that sincere Christians cannot disagree about passages concerning church leadership or marriage. Faithful believers have interpreted those texts differently for centuries. The concern is not that Christians hold convictions about gender roles, but that these issues have become an unhealthy obsession. When conversations about Christianity revolve more around regulating women than reflecting Christ, something has gone terribly wrong. Insecurity often disguises itself as theological certainty. A man who feels insignificant in the wider culture may find comfort in emphasizing his authority at home. A movement that feels it has lost cultural influence may compensate by becoming increasingly focused on hierarchy, submission, and control. In those moments, theology can become less about faithfully following Christ and more about recovering a sense of power. Jesus Redefined Leadership Jesus never confused leadership with control. When His disciples argued over greatness, He pointed them away from domination and toward service. "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them... Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant." (Matthew 20:25–28) Christ completely redefined authority. In His kingdom, greatness is measured not by how many people submit to you but by how willingly you sacrifice yourself for others. For humility is the only virtue Satan can’t imitate. This radically changes the way Christian husbands are called to lead. Paul does not command husbands to establish authority over their wives. He commands them to love their wives: "Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." (Ephesians 5:25) Christ exercised His authority by washing feet, embracing the forgotten, forgiving His enemies, and ultimately laying down His life on a cross. His leadership was expressed through sacrificial love rather than domination. The Warning of the Pharisees Jesus repeatedly warned against the temptation to focus on outward control while neglecting inward transformation. The Pharisees excelled at regulating the behavior of others while neglecting: "The weightier matters of the law—justice and mercy and faithfulness." (Matthew 23:23) Their religion had become obsessed with external rules while ignoring the condition of the heart. The danger facing portions of the modern church is remarkably similar. It is possible to win every argument about gender roles while completely missing the heart of the Gospel. The Cross Is Not a Symbol of Worldly Power The strongest Man who ever lived did not conquer Rome, seize political office, demand His rights, or use slurs at Gentiles. He allowed Himself to be mocked, beaten, crucified, and abandoned because love required sacrifice. To the world, the cross appeared to be weakness. Scripture declares it to be the very wisdom and power of God. The cross reveals a truth that modern culture struggles to accept: real strength is not found in controlling others. It is found in surrendering yourself for others. Beyond the Gospel of Victimhood The church should be deeply suspicious whenever victimhood becomes its defining language. The Gospel does not teach believers to build their identity around grievance. It teaches them to build their identity around Christ. The Gospel does not call Christians to obsess over who has taken their power. It calls them to surrender their lives. The New Testament never presents the Christian life as a struggle to preserve cultural influence or reclaim lost status. It presents it as a daily invitation to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Jesus. The church does not need another generation of Christian men convinced that everyone is against them. It needs men who repent before they accuse, who serve before they demand to be served, who lay down their lives before insisting on their rights, and who understand that true strength is revealed through sacrificial love. The kingdom of God has never been built by men who demanded recognition, mourned the loss of cultural influence, or searched endlessly for enemies to blame. It has always been advanced by men and women who knelt before the cross before they stood before the world—people who repented more than they protested, served more than they demanded, and loved more than they feared. If the church is to recover its witness, it will not be by reclaiming political power or perfecting the language of grievance. It will be by producing Christians who look so much like Christ that the world cannot mistake whom they follow. The cure for the gospel of victimhood is not a stronger defense of our rights, but a deeper surrender to the One who gave up His. © 2026 Joel Sarfraz 📚 Recommended Reads 📖 The Biblical Meaning of Submission in Marriage Isn't What You've Been Told — If the obsession with women and submission stirred something in you, Jane Isley digs into the original language of Ephesians 5 and finds a picture of mutual, Spirit-filled partnership, not one-sided control. 🕊️ The First Sexual Revolution: How Jesus Transformed the World for Women — Nathan Cole shows how Jesus confronted a Roman culture built on male power and honored the vulnerable instead, holding men and women to the same standard. A perfect companion to the servant-leadership theme. References: Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. The Cost of Discipleship. SCM Press, 1937. Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Life Together. HarperOne, 1954. Noll, Mark A. The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind. Eerdmans, 1994. Smith, James K. A. You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit. Brazos Press, 2016. Willard, Dallas. The Divine Conspiracy. HarperOne, 1998. Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI). Research on Christian nationalism and religious identity in the United States. Kristin Kobes Du Mez. Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation. Liveright, 2020. Cabanel, Alexandre. The Fallen Angel (1847). Musée Fabre, Montpellier, France.

The Miracle That Shows How Spiritual Growth Actually Works There is one story about Jesus that has always felt strange to me. It’s the only time in the Gospels where Jesus heals someone, and it doesn’t seem to work immediately. In Mark 8, people bring a blind man to Jesus and beg Him to heal him. Jesus takes the man aside, lays His hands on him, and asks a simple question: “Do you see anything?” The man replies with an unexpected answer: “I see people, but they look like trees walking.” He can see, but not clearly. So Jesus touches him again. Only then is his sight fully restored, and he sees everything clearly. It’s a puzzling moment. This is Jesus — the one who calms storms, multiplies food, and raises the dead. We expect instant, complete results. Instead, we see something gradual. Something unfinished, at least at first glance. It almost feels like watching a doctor adjust their approach mid-treatment: “How about now? Is this clearer?” Of course, Jesus ultimately completes the healing. But the process itself challenges our assumptions. It suggests that transformation, even in the hands of divine power, sometimes unfolds in stages. And that insight has profound implications for how we understand our own lives. When the eyes are healed, but the mind is still adjusting Today, modern neuroscience offers a fascinating perspective on this story. Doctors have discovered that when someone who has been blind for many years suddenly gains physical sight, their eyes may function perfectly, but their brain struggles to interpret what it sees. The hardware works, but the software hasn’t caught up yet. This condition is sometimes called visual agnosia. The person is no longer blind in a physical sense, but their brain has to relearn how to process visual information. Imagine sitting in darkness for hours and then suddenly stepping into bright sunlight. Your eyes technically work, but everything feels overwhelming and disorienting. It takes time to adjust. In light of this, the blind man’s experience makes sense. The first touch may have restored his physical ability to see, but the second touch helped restore his ability to perceive clearly. The healing wasn’t incomplete. It was unfolding. And in many ways, this mirrors the spiritual journey. When belief comes before clarity Many people assume that spiritual transformation is supposed to be immediate. You have an experience, make a decision, and suddenly everything feels different. Everything makes sense. Everything becomes clear. But that’s rarely how it actually works. Often, belief comes first, and clarity follows slowly over time. You begin to see, but things are still fuzzy. You understand certain truths intellectually, but they haven’t yet settled into your emotional or experiential reality. You hear that you are loved by God, yet you still struggle with insecurity. You believe your future is secure, yet anxiety still creeps in. You know you’ve been forgiven, yet feelings of guilt and shame linger. You see others living with joy and confidence, and you wonder why your experience feels so different. It can leave you questioning yourself. Is something wrong with me? Why does this feel clear to everyone else but not to me? I remember wrestling with those questions personally. After first committing to follow Jesus, I watched people around me serve sacrificially and speak about their faith with genuine joy. They weren’t pretending. Their lives reflected something real. Yet internally, I felt mostly indifferent. I went through the motions, said the right things, and participated outwardly, but inside, it all felt distant. It was disorienting. I wondered whether the problem was with me or perhaps with the faith itself. Looking back, I realize I had received the first touch. But my vision was still coming into focus. The courage to admit incomplete healing What makes the blind man’s story so powerful is not just that he was healed, but that he was honest about his condition. When Jesus asked him, “Do you see anything?”, the man didn’t pretend everything was fine. He could have easily said yes. He could have hidden his confusion out of embarrassment or fear of disappointing those around him. Instead, he told the truth. He acknowledged that while something had changed, things were not yet clear. That honesty became the turning point. It opened the door for Jesus to continue the healing process. This reveals something essential about spiritual growth. Honesty is not a barrier to healing; it is the pathway to it. Many people assume they need to have everything figured out before approaching God. They feel pressure to appear confident, certain, and unwavering. But the opposite is true. The invitation of faith is not to present perfection, but to bring honesty. To admit where things feel unclear. To acknowledge doubts, fears, and confusion. It is in those honest moments that deeper transformation begins. Even the closest followers struggled to see clearly Immediately after this healing, Jesus asks His disciples a defining question: “Who do you say that I am?” Peter gives the right answer. He declares, “You are the Christ.” It’s a moment of clarity and insight. Yet just moments later, Peter rebukes Jesus for predicting His suffering and death. He understood who Jesus was in theory, but he could not yet understand what that meant in reality. His expectations were shaped by his own assumptions about success, power, and victory. He could see partially, but not fully. And yet Jesus did not abandon him. Instead, He continued teaching him, guiding him, and patiently reshaping his understanding. Jesus recognized that Peter’s vision was still forming. He was in process. The same is true for us. The slow work of clarity If I were to map out my own spiritual journey, it wouldn’t look like a straight upward line. It would look more like a series of peaks and valleys — moments of clarity followed by seasons of confusion, moments of confidence followed by seasons of doubt. There were times when truths that once felt abstract suddenly became deeply personal. Moments when things that had always seemed distant suddenly made sense. But those moments often came after periods of struggle, questioning, and honest wrestling. Over time, I began to realize that those seasons of confusion were not signs of failure. They were part of the process. They were the context in which deeper clarity emerged. Each honest conversation, each vulnerable prayer, each moment of admitting “I don’t fully see yet” became an opportunity for growth. It was as if Jesus was continuing to apply that second touch, again and again. I began to realize something I hadn’t understood before. Jesus hadn’t failed me in those seasons of confusion. He was still touching my life. Still restoring my sight. Still patiently bringing things into focus. What I once thought were setbacks were actually part of the healing process. The patience of Jesus Perhaps the most comforting truth in this story is not simply that Jesus heals, but how He heals. He is patient. He does not rush the process or express frustration at incomplete progress. He does not walk away when clarity doesn’t come immediately. Instead, He stays present. He continues the work. This reveals something profound about His character. He is not intimidated by our confusion. He is not disappointed by our slow progress. He is committed to restoring sight fully, even if it takes time. Which means that seasons of uncertainty are not signs that He has abandoned you. They may be signs that He is still working. Learning to trust the process If Jesus were to ask you today, “Do you see anything?”, perhaps your answer would sound familiar. Maybe you see glimpses of truth, but things still feel unclear. Maybe you believe, but questions remain. Maybe you sense that something is changing, even if you can’t fully articulate it yet. If so, take heart. You are not alone, and you are not failing. Clarity often comes gradually. Transformation is often a process, not an event. The invitation is not to pretend that everything is clear, but to remain honest and open. To acknowledge where you are, and to trust that healing is still unfolding. Because the same Jesus who touched that blind man once, and then again, is still at work today. And if your vision still feels blurry, it may not mean He has stopped healing you. It may mean He is not finished yet. And over time, what once looked like trees walking will begin to look exactly as it was meant to all along. © 2026 David Jun If this reflection on the miracles of Jesus sparked something in you, these two articles are worth reading next: The Divine Authority of Jesus: Miracles Only God Can Perform The blind man's healing is one window into who Jesus is. This article takes a wider view, examining how everything from calming storms to raising the dead reveals that Jesus is not merely sent by God but is God Himself. What Was Manna in the Bible? The Miracle That Fed Millions If the gradual nature of the blind man's healing reminds you that God's provision does not always look the way we expect, this deep dive into manna will give you a whole new appreciation for the scale and precision of what He is capable of. Press Ctrl + P (Windows) or Cmd + P (Mac) to print this article or save it as a PDF.

For a lot of people, "spiritual warfare" is a figure of speech. A tidy phrase for a bad week, a rough patch, a temptation resisted. Something safely metaphorical, filed next to "wrestling with my demons" as a manner of speaking rather than a description of anything real. And then something happens that the metaphor can't explain, the room goes cold, the body won't move, an object slides across the floor with no hand near it, and that phrase stops being a figure of speech. Scripture never treated it as metaphor. Paul says plainly that our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities, and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12). And Jesus didn't debate whether demons were real; He cast them out, and a surprising article below shows His recorded ministry was doing exactly that. The Bible presents the unseen realm as populated, active, and interested in us, not as a spooky backdrop but as a present reality with an agenda. The armor of Ephesians 6 isn't poetry. It's issued gear, because there's a fight. So is spiritual warfare real? The four articles below answer that question, not with theory, but with lived experience and Scripture side by side. They move from the hidden doorways most people walk through without thinking, to an attack on the mission field, to an unflinching testimony from deep inside the occult, and finally back to Scripture to show how often this reality hides in plain sight. Every one of them ends with the same conclusion: the darkness is real, and God is stronger. Start with a doorway most people never notice. Not every entry point is dramatic. Stephanie M.'s Playing With Darkness: What Horror Films Taught Me About Spiritual Warfare is the honest on-ramp for the reader who isn't dabbling in anything occult but is casually feeding a fascination with it. She writes about years of horror films, the nightmares and lingering attacks that followed, and the moment the Holy Spirit told her to stop mid-movie. Her point isn't legalism about what you watch; it's that what we invite into our minds shapes us, and that being aware of the enemy is not the same as being entertained by him. Then see it strike someone who did everything right. Warfare isn't only for the reckless. Stephanie M.'s A Spiritual Warfare Testimony: The Night I Never Saw Coming recounts a demonic attack on a mission trip, sleep paralysis, a presence in the room, footsteps that belonged to no one, timed to stop the gospel work planned for the next morning. Even pinned and unable to move, she was shielded, because others were covering her in prayer. It's proof that the enemy targets obedience, and that prayer is not a formality but a defense. Then the testimony that leaves no room for doubt. This one is mine, and it is not for the faint of heart. In My Demonic Experiences: Why You Don't Dance With the Devil, I trace my own life from childhood trauma into Ouija boards, séances in the woods, blood magic, and encounters that left physical marks, and then out the other side, because God refused to let me go. Then step back and see how well it hides. Once you accept that the realm is real, the next question is how often you're missing it. In Hidden in Plain Sight: Recognizing Demonic Influence Today, I go back to the Gospels to trace how frequently Jesus confronted demonic possession, and how rarely these forces announce themselves. The man in the synagogue looked like everyone else until Jesus walked in. This is the piece that turns the testimonies into discernment, learning to recognize the same activity woven quietly into ordinary, modern life. Where this leaves you. Put the four together and the answer to the question is settled. Spiritual warfare is real, closer and more ordinary than most believers want to admit, and it does not require a Ouija board to find you. But every one of these accounts carries the same second half, the half that matters most: the darkness is real, but it is not the strongest thing in the room. A believer covered by the blood of Christ does not have to live afraid. We are told to be alert, to put on the armor, to test what we cannot see against the Word, and to remember how the story ends. The enemy is real. God has already won. And freedom in Christ wins every single time. © Jane Isley

The person in the parable on prayer nobody talks about. If you’ve been a Christian for any length of time, you have probably come across Jesus’ parable on prayer. I believe His motivation for telling this story is to encourage and persuade us to persevere in our prayer life. Here is how Luke recalls it: “Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ But I tell you this — though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence.” 11: 5–8. The lesson is simple: make your prayer life effective and fervent. Don’t just ask once and quit. Persist. Have faith and patience. Jesus goes on to say: “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” 9–13. I’ve heard this story expounded upon for many years from the perspective of the person with a need who gets what they want. And then they usually tie in Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians, where he encourages them to “pray without ceasing." (1 Thes 5:17) The character in the story that nobody preaches about. Have you thought about the jerk in bed? Remember, the story refers to him as a friend. And for you, Biblical scholars, the Greek word literally means “friend.” Not a neighbor or acquaintance. It is the same word James used when he called Abraham a “friend of God." (James 2:23) Can you imagine this conversation between Abraham and God? God: “Abraham, leave the home of your father and move to a land I will show you.” Abraham: “Go away, God. I have a great family and thriving business. Come back next week when I am out from under the covers.” God: “But I need you to go. I’ll keep knocking until you leave Ur of the Chaldeans.” Abraham: “OK, geez, I’ll go. You are a pain in the rear. But to shut you up, God, I’ll go.” Abraham was a friend of God, a real friend, not a social media contact, not a neighbor, not an acquaintance. The man in the parable should have bounced out of bed, run to the door, and said, “Is everything all right? It’s midnight. Are you OK?” And then rejoiced. “Make sure to introduce us before he leaves. What else do you need? A friend of yours is a friend of mine.” But he didn’t. His friendship was active if it was convenient. This article isn’t about prayer. Although the parable is. This article is about being a friend. Solomon nailed it: “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Prov 18:24 This verse highlights the importance of having authentic friends. And suggests that some friendships can be incredibly deep and supportive, even surpassing those of family. We all have friends who operate between the hours of 8 and 5. But will they be there on moving weekend? Or drive to pick you up if your car breaks down? Are they available 24/7? This is why so many people feel lonely at church. Like-minded people surround them. But none of them are friends. When I left Facebook, I had almost 1,000 “friends." And I didn’t know who most of them were. They knew someone I knew. I couldn’t tell you a thing about them. Do you have friends? Are you friendly? Would you open the door at midnight? Or do they have to badger you incessantly for what they need? Are you available to them? Are you trustworthy and faithful? Or what is called a “fair weather friend”? These are questions we should all ask ourselves. I want to be a friend to God. What should I do? First, study the lives of the people God called His friends. You know about Abraham. He had faith and a close relationship with God. Moses was also called God’s friend: “The Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.” Exodus 33:11 Moses had an intimate relationship with God, characterized by direct communication and trust. Jesus called his disciples friends. “I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.” John 15:15 Bottom Line: God often arrives at inconvenient times. He knocks. And how we respond determines if we are authentic friends or not. He wants to get us out of our warm, comfortable resting place because He might want to provide for the needs of another person through us. We are blessed to be a blessing to others. Is it bothersome? It depends on the level of spiritual friendship you have. I hope I am the one who, when there is a knock at my door, bounds out of bed, provides generously what God has entrusted me with, and says, “It was nothing. No big deal. It’s how I roll. My pleasure, Lord.” God always repays. I know I’ll get much more than three loaves in return. © I.M. Koen You might also like these by I.M. Koen God Misses You Why not give Him a quick call to check in? Jesus Wants to Make You Breakfast An invitation to dine for all atheists, ex‑Christians, and God‑haters. Is Jesus Your Boss or Your Friend? What happens when faith feels like a job instead of a relationship. 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The Heart of Relational Stewardship A stewardship-shaped life is never built on tasks alone. It grows in the quiet, ordinary moments when we choose to see people the way God sees them: as entrusted souls, not interruptions; divine assignments, not items on a list. Relational stewardship is the posture of a believer who understands that God has placed people in our path not for efficiency, but for love. It is the shift from doing to becoming, from managing responsibilities to managing trust, from completing duties to reflecting the heart of the Owner. At the center of relational stewardship is the truth Jesus declared when asked about the greatest commandment. He did not point to a task, a ritual, or a religious achievement. He pointed to love — love for God with our whole being and love for our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37–39). This is the soil from which all faithful stewardship grows. When we love God deeply, His love naturally flows outward into our relationships. When we love others well, we honor the God who entrusted them to us. The apostle Peter echoes this when he states that each of us should use the gift given to us by God to serve others, as faithful stewards. (1 Peter 4:10). Notice the direction of stewardship: it is outward, relational, and grace-centered. We are not stewards of tasks, programs, or outcomes. We are stewards of grace — God’s grace expressed through our presence, tone, compassion, and faithfulness. Initiating Relationships With Presence, Honor, and Tone This understanding reframes how we initiate relationships. Many believers assume relationships simply “happen,” but relational stewardship is intentional. It begins with presence, not performance. Presence is the ministry of slowing down long enough to notice the person others overlook. It is sitting beside someone who is alone, offering a sincere greeting, or asking a simple question like, “How has your week been?” These small acts communicate, “You matter. I see you.” In a world where people feel increasingly invisible, presence becomes a powerful expression of God’s heart. Honor is another doorway into relational stewardship. Romans 12:10 calls us to “honor one another above yourselves,” a command that reshapes how we approach every interaction. Honor softens hearts. It signals safety. It reminds people that they are valued not for what they do, but for who they are. Using someone’s name, affirming something you see in them, or simply listening without rushing communicates honor in ways that words alone cannot. Tone also plays a vital role. Scripture teaches that “a gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1) and urges believers to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). Tone is part of stewardship because it reveals the condition of our heart. A hurried or harsh tone can shut down trust, while a gentle, warm tone opens doors for deeper connection. Tone is not merely how we speak, but how we carry the presence of Christ into every conversation. Nurturing Relationships Through Burden-Bearing and Listening But initiating relationships is only the beginning. Relational stewardship requires nurturing what God entrusts. Galatians 6:2 calls us to “bear one another’s burdens,” a command that cannot be fulfilled from a distance. Burden-bearing requires proximity, patience, and compassion. It means following up with someone you prayed for, remembering details of their story, or checking in after a difficult week. These simple acts communicate, “You are not forgotten.” Listening is another essential practice. In a culture that prizes quick fixes and fast solutions, listening becomes a countercultural act of love. Relational stewardship listens not to respond, but to understand. It resists the urge to correct quickly. It asks clarifying questions. It honors the story being shared. Listening says, “Your story matters to me,” and in doing so, it reflects the heart of the One who hears us with perfect patience. There are moments, however, when stewardship requires speaking truth with grace. Colossians 3:12–14 calls believers to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Truth without grace wounds; grace without truth weakens. Together, they help others grow. Relational stewardship stays present even after hard conversations, choosing reconciliation over avoidance. Jesus taught that if a brother sins against us, we are to go to him privately (Matthew 18:15). Avoiding conflict may feel like peacekeeping, but Scripture calls it neglecting stewardship. Protecting relationships means addressing tension early, with humility and love. A Lifestyle of Faithful, Relational Stewardship Ultimately, relational stewardship is not a series of tasks. It’s a lifestyle. It is built through small, consistent acts of faithfulness. It is praying for someone by name each day, sending a note of encouragement, practicing a gentle tone, or asking God each morning, “Who have You entrusted to me today?” It is inviting someone to coffee, checking on someone who is struggling, or reconciling with someone when needed. It is evaluating our own patterns and asking, “Where am I being transactional instead of relational?” The difference between transactional and relational stewardship is profound. A transactional mindset asks, “What do I need to get done?” A relational mindset asks, “Who has God entrusted to me?” Transactional stewardship focuses on tasks; relational stewardship focuses on people. Transactional stewardship completes duties - relational stewardship reflects God’s heart. Transactional stewardship measures success by outcomes - relational stewardship measures faithfulness by love. God sees every act of relational stewardship, even the ones no one else notices. Hebrews 6:10 reminds us that He is not unjust to forget our work and the love we show for His name. Every relationship is an assignment, an appointment set and orchestrated by God. Every word and presence is a seed of influence. And every seed planted in love bears fruit that honors the Master. What relationship is God inviting you to steward today? © Randy DeVaul Press Ctrl + P (Windows) or Cmd + P (Mac) to print this article or save it as a PDF.