When Church Makes You Feel Stupid: What It Really Says About Them

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You weren’t too dumb to understand. They were too proud to explain.

That question you asked in Sunday school that made everyone go silent? It wasn’t because you asked something wrong.It was because they didn’t know how to answer it.

That time you raised your hand during the sermon and the pastor gave you that look?

You weren’t being disruptive.

You were being curious.

And that made them uncomfortable.

That moment when you said, “I don’t understand,” and someone told you to “just have faith”? You weren’t lacking faith.You were displaying it. Real faith asks real questions.

But somewhere along the way, you started believing that your confusion was evidence of your stupidity instead of evidence of their poor teaching.

You internalized the message that good Christians don’t ask hard questions, don’t admit confusion, and don’t challenge explanations that don’t make sense.

You learned to nod along when you didn’t understand, smile when you disagreed, and stay quiet when you had doubts.

That wasn’t spiritual maturity.

That was intellectual abuse.

The Lie That’s Keeping Christians Dumb

Here’s the toxic teaching that’s been destroying Christian minds for generations: “If you have to ask questions about faith, you don’t have enough faith.”

This spiritual gaslighting suggests that confusion is a character flaw rather than a cognitive process. It implies that people who need explanations are spiritually inferior to people who accept everything without question.

Church culture reinforces this by celebrating blind acceptance and shaming intellectual curiosity.

We applaud the person who says, “I don’t need to understand it, I just believe it.”

We praise the believer who “trusts God even when it doesn’t make sense.”

We celebrate the Christian who “has simple, childlike faith.”

You see, there will be times where we will need that ‘childlike faith’, and that ‘trust when it doesn’t make sense’ type of faith. There’s nothing wrong with it, and it’s great to have, but not everyone is either like that or is at that stage in their walk with God.

Meanwhile, we treat people who ask “why,” or “how,” or “what if” like they’re spiritual problems to be fixed rather than minds to be engaged.

But here’s what we’ve forgotten: God created human intelligence and curiosity.

Asking questions isn’t evidence of weak faith. It’s evidence of engaged faith.

What Your Questions Actually Revealed About the Church

When you asked questions that made church leaders uncomfortable, you weren’t exposing problems with Christianity. You were exposing problems with their version of Christianity.

Your questions revealed that they had shallow theology. When someone responds to legitimate questions with “just have faith,” they’re usually protecting weak doctrine, not strong convictions. If their beliefs could survive examination, they wouldn’t be afraid of examination.

Your questions revealed that they preferred control over understanding. Leaders who discourage questions often care more about compliance than comprehension. They want followers, not thinkers.

Your questions revealed that they confused certainty with confidence. There’s a difference between being confident in God and being certain about every theological detail. Your questions threatened their need to appear like they had everything figured out.

Your questions revealed that they were afraid of honest inquiry. Churches that shame questioners are usually churches with something to hide — whether that’s intellectual dishonesty, abusive leadership, or theological errors they can’t defend.

Biblical Evidence That God Loves Questions

If God hated questions, the Bible would be a very different book. Instead, Scripture is full of people asking God hard questions and God engaging with their inquiries.

Abraham questioned God’s plan to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. He literally negotiated with God, asking, “What if there are fifty righteous people? What about forty? What about ten?” God didn’t rebuke him for questioning. He answered every single question.

Moses questioned God’s call on his life multiple times. “Who am I? What if they don’t believe me? What if I can’t speak well?” God didn’t tell Moses to “just have faith.” He addressed every concern with specific answers.

David filled the Psalms with questions: “Why do the wicked prosper? How long will you be angry? Where are you when I need you?” God didn’t consider these complaints evidence of weak faith. He included them in Scripture.

Job spent entire chapters questioning God’s justice, goodness, and purposes. When God finally responds, He doesn’t condemn Job for asking questions. He condemns Job’s friends for giving simplistic answers to complex problems.

Thomas demanded evidence before believing in Jesus’ resurrection. Jesus didn’t shame him for needing proof. He provided exactly the evidence Thomas needed. From there, he became the disciple who traveled the furthest to deliver the gospel according to church tradition.

The disciples constantly asked Jesus to explain His teachings. They said things like “We don’t understand this parable” and “What do you mean?” Jesus never told them they lacked faith. He explained things more clearly.

Paul encouraged believers to “test everything” and “examine the Scriptures” to verify what they were being taught. He praised the Bereans specifically because they questioned his teaching instead of blindly accepting it.

The pattern is clear: God engages with honest questions. He always has.

Why Churches Are Afraid of Your Intelligence

Questions expose poor leadership.

When leaders can’t answer basic questions about what they’re teaching, it reveals that they might not understand it themselves. Your curiosity threatened their authority.

Questions challenge tradition.

Many church practices exist because “that’s how we’ve always done it,” not because they’re biblical or effective. Your questions forced them to defend traditions they’d never examined.

Questions require actual study.

Answering thoughtful questions requires doing homework. Some leaders would rather silence questioners than do the work of providing good answers.

Questions create accountability.

When you ask “Where does the Bible say that?” you’re holding teachers accountable to their source material. Some teachers prefer assumptions over accuracy.

Questions democratize knowledge.

When everyone is encouraged to ask questions and think critically, it’s harder for leaders to maintain knowledge monopolies or spiritual hierarchies.

The Difference Between Faith and Gullibility

Churches that discourage questions often confuse faith with gullibility, but they’re opposite qualities.

Gullibility says: “I’ll believe anything you tell me without question.”Faith says: “I’ll believe this because I’ve examined it and found it trustworthy.”

Gullibility is passive. It accepts information without processing it.Faith is active. It engages with truth and wrestles with implications.

Gullibility fears examination. It avoids hard questions because it’s built on shaky foundations.Faith welcomes examination. It invites questions because it’s confident in its foundations.

Gullibility creates weak believers. People who never question their beliefs can’t defend them when challenged.Faith creates strong believers. People who’ve worked through their questions have conviction that can withstand opposition.

The church leaders who tried to make you feel stupid for asking questions were actually trying to turn you into a gullible follower instead of a faithful thinker.

How Smart Faith Actually Works

Smart faith asks good questions. It wants to understand what it believes and why it believes it. It’s not threatened by inquiry because truth can handle examination.

Smart faith does homework. It studies Scripture, reads broadly, and engages with different perspectives. It’s not afraid of learning because it trusts that truth will emerge from honest investigation.

Smart faith admits uncertainty. It’s comfortable saying “I don’t know” about things that aren’t clear rather than pretending to have all the answers.

Smart faith distinguishes between core truths and cultural preferences. It knows the difference between essential Christian beliefs and denominational traditions.

Smart faith welcomes discussion. It enjoys theological conversations because it sees them as opportunities to grow and learn, not threats to defend against.

What to Do With Your God-Given Intelligence Now

Stop apologizing for being curious. Your questions aren’t character flaws. They’re evidence that God gave you a brain and expects you to use it.

Find communities that welcome questions. Look for churches and Christian friends who see your curiosity as an asset, not a problem.

Study for yourself. Don’t rely on other people’s theological opinions. Read Scripture, research history, and engage with different perspectives so you can form your own convictions.

Ask better questions. Instead of just questioning everything, learn to ask productive questions that lead to understanding rather than just doubt.

Help others feel safe to question. When you encounter Christians who are afraid to voice their doubts or confusion, create space for them to process honestly.

Remember that your intelligence honors God. Using your mind to understand truth is an act of worship, not rebellion.

The Church You Deserve

You deserve a church that sees your questions as gifts, not threats.

You deserve teachers who can explain what they believe and why they believe it.

You deserve a community that values understanding over blind compliance.

You deserve leaders who are secure enough to say “I don’t know” when they don’t know.

You deserve a faith that can handle examination because it’s built on truth.

The church that made you feel stupid was protecting its weakness, not God’s truth.

The church that shamed your questions was revealing its insecurity, not your inadequacy.

The church that preferred your silence to your curiosity was prioritizing control over growth.

You weren’t the problem. Your questions weren’t the problem.

A church culture that’s threatened by intelligence — that’s the problem.

Your mind is not God’s enemy. It’s one of His greatest gifts to you.

And any church that treats it as a threat isn’t worthy of the God they claim to serve.

What questions were you discouraged from asking in church? How did that experience affect your relationship with faith and learning?

© Ashneil