How Overused Christian Phrases Can Hurt

Geoffroy Hauwen

This is more on the personal side, coming from experience with a type of behavior I have encountered over the years. On the surface, it appears noble and Christian-like, but in reality, it can be very harmful. 

Have you had a family member or friend go through a really rough season?

Have you sat there and listened to what they needed to say, held them, cried with them, let them get out what’s stuck in their head?

Or….

Do you ask them how things are going, and then when they start to talk to you, do you say things like “Lift it up to God, He’s got this.”, or “Just keep praying,” or “Pray and give it to God.” or “It’ll be ok, God’s taking care of it.”?

I would assume most have said something along these lines before.

Now, I want to shift your perspective and have you consider it from that person’s point of view.

Imagine, every time you tried to talk to someone, that’s all you heard? Weekly, daily, sometimes multiple times a day. 

Sit with that thought for a couple of minutes. Imagine needing to talk, only to receive the same pre-scripted phrases repeatedly. Eventually, you stop sharing and keep it all inside because you know what response is coming.

You will feel as if you are not Christian enough or strong enough, or that you suddenly need advice on your relationship with God.

It starts to sting.

No one is perfect, and sometimes we may not know what to say. But in situations like this, focus on what the person needs in that moment, not what you think they need. And if you’re on the other spectrum and think you need to constantly say these things, zip it and reevaluate. 

Repeated comments like these can and will shut a person down. 

Intentional or not, they can make someone question their faith, wonder if something is wrong with them, feel like they have no right to be a human with feelings, and feel that struggling is unacceptable. 

God made us to want companionship with one another; this is a part of that. Just take a little time and reflect on how you respond to a person in need is all I ask.

© Jane Isley