The Confession

Tessa Lind
Jan 9
4 min read

Wooden fence in an autumn field, surrounded by colorful foliage and trees. The scene is calm, with fallen leaves and a cloudy sky. — Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

We closed the farmhouse door for the very last time. Never again would we be greeted by the smell of homemade bread. Never again would we pick fresh strawberries from the homegrown patch. Never again would we celebrate Thanksgiving together in the big, old, century-plus farmhouse. My father-in-law sold the farm on which he was born 85 years earlier and never looked back.

He moved a couple of miles down the road into a newer townhouse closer to town. We unpacked boxes, stacking the dishes my husband ate from as a child. We hung aerial photos of the farm on the walls. We looked out the windows and saw dozens of other identical townhouses instead of never-ending rows of corn.

“I think this townhouse development used to be Bob Miles’ horse pasture,” Hubby reminisced.

“Yep. He sold his farm to a developer 20 years ago,”my father-in-law confirmed.

“So you’re now living where I smashed Terry’s truck into the fence!”

“You did what?”

Oops.

After 34 years of keeping a secret from his dad, Hubby accidentally spilled the beans to his 86-year-old father. On a dark and snowy December eve, Hubby was getting into his brother’s 1976 Silverado with a 454 cubic inch engine after wrestling practice. His wrestling buddy had a Ford. After spinning donuts in the snowy school parking lot, they decided to settle the Ford vs. Chevy rivalry once and for all.

Hubby won, but unfortunately, brakes don’t work well on ice, and his brother’s truck ended up on top of the fence of the horse pasture. Mr. Miles was not very happy, and Hubby spent Christmas break repairing the fence.

But he never told his dad.

Why do we hide our mistakes from our parents?

From an early age, our behavior is reinforced with parental smiles or frowns. Scribbles on paper excite parents to the true artist within their child; scribbles on the wall create fear of a future graffiti artist. Building a block tower reveals a future engineer and receives praise; throwing blocks exposes a potential future rioter and receives scolding.

We are trained to crave the affirmation of our parents and dread their anger and disappointment. Even adults look for Mom and Dad’s approval. A friend recently told me that, although her parents are both dead, she still makes decisions based on whether or not they would approve. Fear of parental disapproval leads many to hide from their parents.

“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.” (Genesis 3:8)

But should we seek the approval of our parents? Our parents are, after all, sinners just like us. In seeking their approval, we are looking to reflect the image of someone who is flawed, not perfect.

I have told my children that I don’t want them to live their lives looking for my approval. I want them to live their lives looking for God’s approval. My views are selfishly flawed and skewed. I do not have all the right answers, nor do I have the right motives behind the decisions I make.

God is perfect in all things. He gives us His Word, the Bible, to show us what righteousness looks like. Scripture is the plumb line we and our children can use as we measure our lives next to Perfection. But this doesn’t mean I am insignificant in the lives of my adult children. God uses parents.

We often hide things from our parents when we sin. We fear being found out. If my parents really knew…

But God knows. If we are hiding things, we should consider if the hidden secret is sin.

“Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” (John 3:19-21)

Adam and Eve are kinda funny. Did they really think they could hide from God? Did they really think He wouldn’t find them? Did they not know of His omniscience? But they feared their deeds would be exposed.

We are just like Adam and Eve. We live our lives sinning, thinking we can hide. But we don’t have to hide anymore.

Admit your sin.

“Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 32:5)