Is It Jesus You’re Following — Or Just the Rules?

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: a lot of what we were told about Jesus isn’t from Jesus. It’s our denominational image.

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It’s from church, family, culture, and fear. That complicated knot of expectations and shame. The things we picked up and carried because we thought they were sacred. Turns out, some of it was just heavy baggage.

Here’s the reality: Holding on to Jesus does not mean holding on to everything you were taught about him.

If you’re in midlife and feeling like your faith is cracking at the edges, that’s not a sign of failure. That’s the Spirit at work. You are not betraying God by letting go of things that no longer ring true. You are being invited into something deeper.

Jesus didn’t hand you the baggage

In Matthew 11, Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me… For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

If what you’re carrying feels suffocating, maybe it didn’t come from him.

• Maybe it came from a system that needed you to be afraid.

• Maybe it came from a theology that prioritized control over compassion.

• Maybe it came from people who meant well but never questioned what they were handed either.

  
  

Let’s not sugarcoat it. Letting go is hard. Especially if those beliefs were once lifelines. Especially if they still connect you to people you love. But there comes a point where you have to choose: cling to the baggage, or cling to Jesus.

Jesus doesn’t need defending. He needs following

The weird thing is, when you start to release the baggage, people might get nervous. You might get nervous. Why? Because baggage gives us a sense of belonging. It’s shared language, shared answers.

But here’s the good news: Jesus didn’t ask you to have all the answers. He said, “Follow me.” Not, “Be right about everything.” Not, “Defend your theology at all costs.” Just follow.

Dorothy Søelle put it like this: “The point of theology is not to prove God. The point is to participate in God.”

And that means a shift. Away from certainty. Toward trust.

Away from gatekeeping. Toward hospitality.

Midlife is the perfect time to drop the act

When you’re younger, you hold on tight to certainty. It keeps you grounded. Safe. You follow the map someone gave you because you trust they knew the terrain. But as you get older, you start to notice the map doesn’t match the landscape.

And then you have a choice. You can keep pretending the map is right. Or you can actually walk with Jesus, even if that means going off-map.

And let’s be honest: pretending is exhausting.

That’s why Jesus said, “The truth will set you free.” But before it frees you, it messes you up. Because it wrecks the illusion. It asks for your honesty. And it gives you Jesus in return.

So what does letting go look like?

It looks like taking a deep breath and admitting: I don’t believe that anymore.

It looks like skipping church some Sundays because your soul is tired and you meet God better in the woods.

It looks like saying no to fear-based religion, even if it means losing status, relationships, or roles.

It looks like trusting the Spirit to guide you, not just doctrine.

It looks like grace.

Holding on to Jesus looks like liberation

Jesus didn’t come to endorse a system. Actually, He came to upend one. He didn’t show up to preserve tradition.

• He came to call people out of their comfort zones.

• He healed on the Sabbath.

• He talked to outsiders.

• He critiqued the religious elite.

  
  

So if holding on to Jesus feels like disobedience to the religion you were raised with, you might just be on a better path. One that leads to the real Jesus.

If your prayers have shifted from polished formulas to groaning sighs, God is still listening.

If your theology is unraveling but your compassion is growing, Jesus is near.

And here’s the clincher: you don’t owe anyone an explanation

You don’t have to justify your spiritual journey to those who don’t see the terrain you’re walking. You don’t have to make your doubts palatable. You don’t have to fake it to protect someone else’s comfort.

Paul said it in Galatians: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

Religious baggage is a kind of slavery. And you’re allowed to say no.

So yes, it’s possible

It’s possible to hold on to Jesus while letting go of fear. To hold on to Jesus while letting go of fundamentalism. To hold on to Jesus while walking away from certainty, rigidity, and shame.

You can let go of what’s breaking you without letting go of Jesus. In fact, that might be the most faithful move you make. The baggage isn’t sacred — Jesus is. And he’s not asking you to carry it, explain it, or defend it. He’s just asking you to follow.

© Gary L Ellis