Holy Pause: Escaping Hustle Culture and Finding Rest in Faith
- The Blooming Educator
- Aug 23
- 3 min read
I used to chase the next thing like it was my job. Actually, it was my job.
One international teaching contract after another.One new country, new curriculum, new goal. One more training, one more leadership role, one more shiny thing to add to the CV.
I told myself I was doing it for the growth.
For the cultural exposure. For the calling. And in many ways, I was. I’ve always been curious about people, about places, about what God might do in unfamiliar soil. But if I’m honest?
I was also chasing numbers. Contract amounts. End-of-year bonuses. Goals I could cross off like spiritual gold stars.
Productivity Became a Proxy for Purpose
The modern world is fluent in hustle. And so was I.
I was the kind of teacher who couldn’t just teach. I had to lead a workshop about it. Attend every PD. Start a new project. Write a curriculum. Post about it, reflect on it, optimize it. All for the sake of “making the most” of my season.
But somewhere between the planning meetings and the PowerPoints, I stopped hearing myself think.
Worse, I stopped hearing God.
Because hustle, even in the name of service, can get so loud that it drowns out holy whispers.
The War in Sudan Was My Wake-Up Call
I was just about to complete another teaching contract in Khartoum. I was already planning my next move. Thinking about which school, which country, which salary bracket.
And then the war began. April 15, 2023
Suddenly, the plans I was building on certainty collapsed into grief, fear, and forced stillness. Friends were displaced. Routines evaporated. My future became a question mark. And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t busy. I was broken.
But in that painful silence, something shifted.
I realized I had been building my faith on momentum more than intimacy. I had been serving, running, producing, while quietly drifting from the very God who called me.
The war didn’t just disrupt my career. It interrupted my self-reliance.
Sometimes Burnout Is a Message, Not a Moral Failing
For the longest time, I thought needing rest meant I wasn’t strong enough. That if I had just planned better, prayed harder, managed my time more righteously, I wouldn’t feel this way.
But Scripture doesn’t shame the weary. Jesus withdrew often. God built a whole day into the week just so we wouldn’t forget: you are not a machine.
“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”— Matthew 11:28
Rest isn’t a reward for the productive. It’s a gift for the human.
And sometimes, God allows us to run out of our own strength so we can return to His.
I’m Learning to Measure My Life Differently
These days, I’m trying to slow down. Not to quit dreaming or growing, but to grow on purpose. To say yes from a place of peace, not pressure.
I still teach. I still write. I still set goals. But I’ve stopped confusing constant motion with meaning.
I’m building a deeper, quieter kind of faith now. The kind that doesn’t panic in stillness. The kind that finds God in pauses, not just in plans.
Maybe You Needed This Reminder Too
If you’ve been chasing the next thing, feeling like you’re falling behind, wondering why you’re exhausted even though you’re “doing everything right”, this is for you.
You don’t need to earn rest. You don’t have to outperform your exhaustion. Your worth isn’t in your output.
Sometimes burnout is God’s way of saying,
“Child, I miss you when you’re like this. Come sit with Me awhile.”
And in my case?
He used a war to get my attention.
Now I’m finally listening.
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