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The Church’s Not-So-Silent Divorce from Christ

  • Writer: Jane Isley
    Jane Isley
  • Jul 7
  • 5 min read

Updated: Sep 3

I read an article last year that pushed me to pray and study deeply about the roles of men, women, and the Church. Lately, I’ve noticed that more biblically based Christians are beginning to write on this topic.


To be completely honest, I originally put this article on the back burner. I thought I didn’t need to write it since others were starting to speak up, but our Father had other plans.


I first noticed this problem in churches about 10 years ago, but in the past three-ish years, it’s hit me in the face like a brick and I can't ignore it. That’s where this all began.


Still, I knew I had to wait. I can be passionate, even hot-headed, for good reason, but that doesn’t mean I should always speak without praying first. I needed time with God first.


And here’s my disclaimer: this is not aimed at men. It’s not aimed at women. It’s aimed at every single person who calls themselves a Christian. Because we have a serious problem in the Church, and both men and women bear responsibility for it.


Here we go.

There is too much bickering back and forth about the male and female “roles” within churches, and people are purposely missing key points and just firing off church doctrine, traditions, opinions, and feelings. 


Pretty much everything BUT what the Bible actually tells us to do.


What I’ve seen.

I have been led to many churches at God’s prompting over the years. Many. And boy, have I watched a lot a crap go down. 


There were 3 consistent things I saw with all but 2 churches.


  1. I watched as congregations bowed to their pastor as the sole authority. Where people wanted to ask questions or bring up unbiblical teachings, but they didn’t out of fear, and they were barred from actively participating in their own church.

  2. I saw women in the background, too shy to speak up, or told not to speak up at all, and if they did, they were treated cruelly or as the church lunatic. 

  3. Then I have seen the flip of this and churches dominated by women that did similar to the men who were there, and the men were “jokingly” picked on.


Imbalance, lots and lots of imbalance out there.


We need to formally recognize and respect that both genders were created spiritually and mentally equal, and both male and female were given dominion over the Earth. 


When the fall happened, our roles were redefined for a reason, but our equality never went away, it was mankind that wreaked havoc with that.


What we are told.

I want to draw our attention to a couple of verses, granted, there are many, however, I can’t put all of them in here.


Genesis 1:28 “God blessed them. God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”


1 Peter 3:7 “You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as also being joint heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”


Ephesians 6:1–4 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” — which is the first commandment with a promise — “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”


1 Corinthians 11:3 “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”


Proverbs 31:10–12 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”


1 Timothy 3:5 “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”


That last one says it all.


“If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”


And there you have it.


We are going down the path of divorce.

Christians (male AND female) are destroying the Church from within. The Bible is filled to the brim with how we are to act towards one another, and people just aren’t listening to it anymore. Too busy fighting and subjugating each other.


The metaphors about family, marriage, adultery, relationships, etc. are crazy when it comes to this. Jesus is our mighty counselor and our bridegroom, and instead of going to Him for the counseling His bride (us) needs, here is His bride filing for the divorce of eternity.


Spelling it out.

People like to say they wish the Bible just spelled stuff out clearly. I gotta tell you, if you’re the one saying this — you aren’t reading it. 


From beginning to end, we are consistently shown how to be a bride for Christ.


There is an emphasis on marriage for a reason, and clear directions on how to do this. But as the years go by, I see fewer and fewer churches upholding God’s commands and the Bible’s teachings. That is why I say we are in a divorce, or at least the proceedings leading up to a divorce.


Jesus is preparing a home for us, and we, His bride, are to be preparing ourselves and waiting for Him to come and get us. 


We are far from that.

Men and women are not working together in the unity we are to be, the Church is splitting apart from the inside. We see this in society too, all the broken homes and the children left scarred from it. 


The same is happening in the Church. 


That is why this is directed to everyone, not just men and not just women, because we are all a part of the Church. If we could just stop this infighting, and each person went to God for counseling, things would be so much better, not perfect, but better.


I’d love to see the Church on Earth come back together, but it can only happen when all parties are willing to come to the table. 



Thank you for taking the time to read, and please consider supporting my work. Your gift helps keep this work going, blesses others, and means the world to me.


You can visit me at Faithful Writers on Medium, where other Christian writers have joined me in sharing the word of God. You can also find me on Tumblr and Facebook.


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