Are You The Bad Friend?
- I. M. Koen
- Jul 16
- 5 min read
Updated: Aug 4
The person in the parable on prayer nobody talks about.
If you’ve been a Christian for any length of time, you have probably come across Jesus’ parable on prayer. I believe His motivation for telling this story is to encourage and persuade us to persevere in our prayer life. Here is how Luke recalls it:
“Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ But I tell you this — though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence.” 11: 5–8.
The lesson is simple: make your prayer life effective and fervent. Don’t just ask once and quit. Persist. Have faith and patience. Jesus goes on to say:
“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” 9–13.
I’ve heard this story expounded upon for many years from the perspective of the person with a need who gets what they want. And then they usually tie in Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians, where he encourages them to “pray without ceasing." (1 Thes 5:17)
The character in the story that nobody preaches about.
Have you thought about the jerk in bed?
Remember, the story refers to him as a friend. And for you, Biblical scholars, the Greek word literally means “friend.” Not a neighbor or acquaintance. It is the same word James used when he called Abraham a “friend of God." (James 2:23)
Can you imagine this conversation between Abraham and God?
God: “Abraham, leave the home of your father and move to a land I will show you.”
Abraham: “Go away, God. I have a great family and thriving business. Come back next week when I am out from under the covers.”
God: “But I need you to go. I’ll keep knocking until you leave Ur of the Chaldeans.”
Abraham: “OK, geez, I’ll go. You are a pain in the rear. But to shut you up, God, I’ll go.”
Abraham was a friend of God — a real friend, not a social media contact, not a neighbor, not an acquaintance.
The man in the parable should have bounced out of bed, run to the door, and said, “Is everything all right? It’s midnight. Are you OK?” And then rejoiced. “Make sure to introduce us before he leaves. What else do you need? A friend of yours is a friend of mine.”
But he didn’t. His friendship was active if it was convenient.
This article isn’t about prayer. Although the parable is. This article is about being a friend. Solomon nailed it:
“A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Prov 18:24
This verse highlights the importance of having authentic friends. And suggests that some friendships can be incredibly deep and supportive, even surpassing those of family.
We all have friends who operate between the hours of 8 and 5. But will they be there on moving weekend? Or drive to pick you up if your car breaks down? Are they available 24/7?
This is why so many people feel lonely at church. Like-minded people surround them. But none of them are friends.
When I left Facebook, I had almost 1,000 “friends." And I didn’t know who most of them were. They knew someone I knew. I couldn’t tell you a thing about them.
Do you have friends? Are you friendly? Would you open the door at midnight? Or do they have to badger you incessantly for what they need? Are you available to them? Are you trustworthy and faithful? Or what is called a “fair weather friend”?
These are questions we should all ask ourselves.
I want to be a friend to God. What should I do?
First, study the lives of the people God called His friends. You know about Abraham. He had faith and a close relationship with God. Moses was also called God’s friend:
“The Lord spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.” Exodus 33:11
Moses had an intimate relationship with God, characterized by direct communication and trust.
Jesus called his disciples friends.
“I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.” John 15:15
Bottom Line:
God often arrives at inconvenient times. He knocks. And how we respond determines if we are authentic friends or not. He wants to get us out of our warm, comfortable resting place because He might want to provide for the needs of another person through us. We are blessed to be a blessing to others.
Is it bothersome? It depends on the level of spiritual friendship you have. I hope I am the one who, when there is a knock at my door, bounds out of bed, provides generously what God has entrusted me with, and says, “It was nothing. No big deal. It’s how I roll. My pleasure, Lord.”
God always repays. I know I’ll get much more than three loaves in return.
Thanks for reading this. You might also like:
May the Lord make His face to shine upon you! -Issachar
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