Heaven: The Land of No Memory. Will We Remember Our Life on Earth in Heaven?

Relationships, Grief, & the Questions We Carry

Will we remember our life on earth in heaven? It is one of the quietest and most personal questions a believer can carry, and this article does not flinch from it. Drawing from the often-overlooked depths of Psalm 88 and the words of Jesus about relationships in eternity, the writer wrestles openly with grief, marriage, and what it truly means to be with God forever. If you have ever lost someone and wondered what heaven will actually feel like, this one is worth reading slowly.

Psalm 88:9-12

"God, you’re my last chance of the day. I spend the night on my knees before you. Put me on your salvation agenda; take notes on the trouble I’m in. I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell. I’m written off as a lost cause, one more statistic, a hopeless case. Abandoned as already dead, one more body in a stack of corpses, And not so much as a gravestone— I’m a black hole in oblivion. You’ve dropped me into a bottomless pit, sunk me in a pitch-black abyss. I’m battered senseless by your rage, relentlessly pounded by your waves of anger. You turned my friends against me, made me horrible to them. I’m caught in a maze and can’t find my way out, blinded by tears of pain and frustration. I call to you, God; all day I call. I wring my hands, I plead for help. Are the dead a live audience for your miracles? Do ghosts ever join the choirs that praise you? Does your love make any difference in a graveyard? Is your faithful presence noticed in the corridors of hell? Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark, your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory?"

I have lost count of how many times the Psalms have expressed my feelings better than my own words ever could. I learned to pray by quoting the Psalms. I learned to be honest with God from what I read in the Psalms. I think I'm quite familiar with the Psalms, but I still find surprising verses.

I've often thought about heaven. I'm not really curious about its appearance. I gather that it will look like a better, unsullied version of earth. Heaven is the blueprint of earth. The thing that I wonder about is relationships. What are relationships like in heaven?

Here, on earth, we live in an "us - them" reality. We have different relationships with different people. Family and friends are closer to us than strangers. Often, life is turned into allies and enemies. We don't love everyone equally.

I have a special relationship with my husband. I can't think that there will ever be a time when I won't love him, or view him as my husband. We share a special bond. Yet, Jesus said in heaven, relationships don't work the same way as on earth (Matthew 22:23-33). There are no marriages in heaven, except for Christ's marriage with His bride, the Church (Ephesians 5:31-32; Revelation 19). How will it change in heaven? When my husband and I are in heaven together, how will we not have the same relationship we had on earth? How will we love everyone equally?

The Bible tells us that there will be no pain or sorrow in heaven (Revelation 21:4), yet thinking that some of my loved ones won't be in heaven causes immense anguish. Will we not care about the lost in heaven? What will change so that we don't think of loved ones or marriage partners, parents, or children? Thoughts like these often occupy my mind, and more so since the death of my brother and daughter.

Reading Psalm 88 causes me to think that we simply won't remember. "Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark, your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory?" What simpler way is there to forget pain if we don't remember the people or things that cause us pain? To me, it sounds like mercy.

I know this contradicts so many stories I've heard of people reportedly having gone to heaven during near-death experiences. Was this what they actually encountered, or was it a product of their subconscious mind? I don't know. It does make sense to me that death is a place of no remembrance. Psalm 88 refers to the place of death, not heaven. I know this, but it doesn't stop me from wondering and questioning how things will be different in heaven.

Have you thought about the changes in relationships in heaven? Will nothing else matter except being with God? Will we be so focused on His glory and greatness that we won’t think about anyone else? How can we forget the special bonds we had here on earth and will we treat loved ones like strangers? I know that we will know and recognize one another in heaven. Jesus spoke about Lazarus and the rich man recognizing one another. How will it work? It boggles my mind.

© 2026 Rina Schultz. 

Want more content like this? Explore more articles in Exploring Scripture.

"Will we remember our life on earth in heaven is a question that may not be fully answered this side of eternity, but asking it honestly is itself an act of faith. If this article gave language to something you have been quietly carrying, share it with someone who is grieving or wondering the same thing. Some questions are better held together than alone."

Still thinking about heaven? These two articles go deeper:

👉 Animals & Pets in Heaven? A Surprising Reflection on God's Heart and Creation If we wonder whether we will remember the people we loved, it is worth asking what God feels about all He created — including the creatures He made before us.

👉 The Surprising Truth About Heaven (Hint: It's Not Plato's Idea) Before we can ask what we will remember in heaven, it helps to make sure we understand what heaven actually is — and it may not be what you were taught.

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