Through my Brokenness, I Run to Jesus

Deep down, all humans want to believe in something.

Without belief, we would not have evolved and survived this long. We would not have science, medicine, or inventions if we did not believe they would work. We all believe in something, whether we want to admit it or not.

For example, atheists may not believe in God, but they believe that God does not exist. A bit confusing to comprehend, but there is still a belief within their conviction. While I have never been an atheist, I once considered myself a spiritual being who believed that God was anything and everything.

Therefore, I considered myself and all others to be God, as well as creation itself. I rejected Christianity. I never fully understood the love of Jesus Christ. So how come after years of rejecting Him, I now believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit with all of my heart?

Through all of the messiness and brokenness of the world, through all of the struggles I’ve had with mental health, through all of the struggles I’ve had to belong and fit in… I don’t have to pretend with Jesus.

I don’t have to strive for perfection. He’s already done that for all of us. I don’t have to put on a front with Him; he knows everything about me. He knows everything about everyone! Even the darkest secrets I try to hide so deeply from the rest of the world, He sees right through me.

And you know what? It’s relieving.

Isn’t it exhausting hiding secrets full of shame from friends and family?

I’ve made so many poor decisions in my life, so many that I’ve yet to tell a single soul. I’ve tried so hard to maintain a perfect facade, that I’m strong, mature, and almost ‘’perfect.’’ That I’m doing just fine.

But I’m not.

And Jesus knows that down to the core. I think we forget that we are all human beings. We are not always happy, we are not perfect, and we are not God.

And you know what?

After years of fighting this brokenness and imperfection, I’m learning to accept it and give it all to Jesus. So yes, I’m not always nice, happy, smart, or mature. But guess what? No one else is. And if someone says they’re not broken in some sort of way, it’s a pretense.

I am not perfect. Nobody is perfect.

And I’m okay with that because Jesus fixes that by perfectly loving every single person. So when I feel lonely and am let down by friends and family, I know that He won’t ever let me down.

And if you’ve read my testimony (which, if you haven’t, check it out!), you know that I struggle mentally.

Sometimes it feels like my own mind and body are letting me down. And re-reading that just sounds plain sad, but it’s the truth. Lately, I’ve been struggling badly with anxiety, and some of those depressive feelings have been coming back.

And man, sometimes it’s hard to keep believing in Jesus and His perfect love. Sometimes I question why He’d allow something like that to happen to me, to others, and to the world as a whole. But something in me just needed to write this, and I think that is enough proof of God’s power working within. Through all the pain, I still look up to God. I still believe.

Although I am going through a rough patch (and will in the future to come), I will never forget the sacrifice that Jesus made for humankind.

He lived a perfect life, never once sinned, and still took on all of humanity’s sin, past, present, and future, and died with it on the cross. I will never forget how he took away the suicidal thoughts I had last school year. I will never forget how blessed I am to have a wonderful family, friendships, university, and environment to live in.

So yes, I am struggling, but I still believe.

© 2026 Sienna Krieg. Want more content like this? Explore more articles in the Why We Believe series.