Walking Through the Valley: Reflections on Psalm 23

I'm there. Right now. Walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

And I fear evil. 

Before I open my eyes in the morn, my mind alerts to reality. Instant anxiety consumes my body as I remember past events. The world I am waking up to is not where I want to be. Maybe if I keep my eyes closed, I will fall back into dreamland. But my racing mind jumpstarts my heart. The day has begun. 

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) God made this promise.  Yet I feel alone. Left. Forsaken. “Where are you, God?” In the midst of my suffering, if your arms are wrapped around me, I don’t feel them. If you are holding my hand, my hand remains icy-cold. If you are wiping the tears from my eyes, they are still flowing. 

Yet you are my shepherd. A shepherd leads, guards, provides, and protects. If I am following you, there is nothing I should want. Yet I do want. I want peace. I want happiness. I want to not be vulnerable to this world. Flaming arrows are being shot at me, piercing me day by day. Will you do nothing to protect me?

I open my eyes to clear blue skies. My same world, through a different lens. You provide me with a soft green pasture. I lie down in this green valley on a warm summer’s day. The luscious grass tickles my cheeks as the sun’s rays warm my face. My racing heart begins to slow as I breathe in and out. In and out. I stroll to the nearby still waters, dipping my feet and hands in the pure refreshment. Laughter escapes as I splash my tear-stained face with cool waters. The heaviness of my soul begins to lift. Restoration has begun. 

Why are you leading me here? If only life were easy. Wouldn’t that be so much better? No? This sanctification process is purifying. It reveals my weaknesses. My lack of trust. My pride. My selfishness. My desire is to cling to this world instead of seeking your kingdom first. Why are you leading me here? For your name’s sake. To bring glory to you, in the midst of my suffering. When it is over, I will look like you. The stain of sin will be chiseled from my body, bit by bit, as refining fire, until I reflect your image. 

While standing ankle deep in the cool waters, I notice the table You prepared for me. The fine linens and bountiful spread are for me, and me alone, for you love me so. My eyes scan the horizon. We are surrounded by my enemies. They have come to overpower me, to lead me astray, to steal me from you. Yet you take my hand and lead me. You chivalrously pull back the chair, inviting me to sit. We will recline together, in the presence of my enemies. 

But your rod and your staff, they comfort me. My anointed head is untouchable, for I belong to you. I feel the lavish, undeserved goodness of grace pouring over me. My cup runneth over. 

I nod my head.  I am beginning to understand. I will follow the Good Shepherd always.

Sometimes we must walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, but with my eyes fixed on Jesus before me, surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. 

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 

First published in Pursuing Perfection on Substack by © Tessa Lind, tessalind.substack.com

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