I’m a sinner, not a saint.

Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

I don’t pretend to be otherwise. Years ago, I used to pretend I knew it all, not everything, but I’d act all smart. I was trying to “keep up” Kardashian style, and it was the fakest I ever felt, exhausting and soooo empty.

I genuinely do have a sponge for a brain and can recall pretty much everything I have ever read and see the connection to many other things in a split second. Here’s where I went wrong with that gift: 

I was more concerned about my appearance than God. I wanted to look smart, I wanted people to admire my knowledge, and come to me. 

Yes, knowledge is power, but power is nothing without wisdom.

Yeah, no, not me anymore. I would much rather meet you in honesty, humility, and my bathrobe, than be a jerk and act like I have all the answers or have my life together, because guess what? I don’t, and neither do you.

Most days now, I go around in my bathrobe, hair clipped up/sticking up, and my trusty water bottle in hand. You know how many people God has sent to me looking like that? It’s crazy, and they meet me as a real human.

I read a lot, I study a lot, and I take it all to God. 

You know who writes everything I’ve written? God. You know why? Because I stepped off my high horse long ago and started to act like a human being, the human being He willingly created. Trust me, He’s completely aware of who I am and my many many quirks. 

He knocked my butt off that high horse many a time till I realized that without Him, nothing I knew meant anything to Him or anyone else I was trying to “preach” to, because it wasn’t blessed by the Holy Spirit. They were empty-ish words from someone who kinda sorta let God in on my plan once in a while. (not that God can’t use those encounters, but they weren’t great or encouraging, and very well could have put people off from God)

I needed to be humbled and realize my brain, my skills, all of it came from God in the first place, and should be used for His glory. And until I came to that point of maturity and stopped playing a Christian, and actually being a Christian, He wasn’t going to have me going around in His name looking like a know-it-all.

So no, I’m no saint, I’m human and I’ve screwed up, I’ve been humbled, but I learned from my mistakes. The best thing every Christian should do is to check themselves.

• Are you going to God?

• Do you believe your talents are your’s or from God?

• Are you using your talents, skills, and gifts for His glory?

• Is God trying to humble you?

• Are you listening to Him?

• Do you act like you have all the answers?

• Are you going to Him when you need those answers?

• Can you admit that you don’t know everything when someone asks?

• Who are you serving?

  
  

Ever fall off a horse? I have, literally and figuratively, and it hurts.

Get back up, dust off the dirt, and go to God, find out what He’s trying to tell you or show you, and don’t act like you know everything, because you don’t. Stop pretending and be a human. 

Nonbeliever's need the real so bad right now; they are crying out in pain for it. They need to see that we are human, hear our struggles and praises, and what it means to be Christian. 

© Jane Isley

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