Before You Say “I’m Done With You” Read This
- I. M. Koen
- 5 days ago
- 5 min read
There are few things more exhausting than loving people who keep making foolish decisions. Right? You help them, and they repeat their dysfunctional behavior. You encourage them, and they fall right back into the same pattern. You forgive them, and somehow, they find another ditch to fall into. You begin to think: Good grief! Will they ever get it together?
After a while, something hardened begins to rise inside of us. We think: “I’m done. I will no longer enable bad behavior.” It’s not because we stop caring entirely. But we get tired of carrying the emotional weight of someone else’s instability.
Jesus said when iniquity abounds, the love of many grows cold. (Mt 24:12) Our love for people caught in a long struggle tends to wane. And our patience dims. We see this frustration at the Last Supper between Jesus and Philip:
“Philip said, “Master, show us the Father; then we’ll be content.” “You’ve been with me all this time, Philip, and you still don’t understand? To see me is to see the Father. So how can you ask, ‘Where is the Father?’” John 14:8–9
Yikes! See what I mean? The I.M. translation says, “Dude, seriously…how can you not be getting this after 3 ½ years of solid mentoring? What’s wrong with you?”
When we study the life of Moses, we discover something remarkable: God’s people were often irrational, fearful, rebellious, immature, and unbelievably frustrating. Yet Moses never stopped interceding for them. Again and again, the Israelites complained against God after witnessing miracle after miracle.
They saw the Red Sea split. They ate manna from heaven. They followed a cloud by day and fire by night. And still they murmured. Still, they panicked. Still, they rebelled.
At one point, they literally created a golden calf while Moses was on the mountain receiving the commandments of God. Less than three months earlier, they had walked through a split Red Sea. And now, they were ready to change Gods.
If anyone ever had a reason to throw up his hands and say, “You know what, Lord? Start over with somebody else. These people are idiots.” it was Moses. But that is not what he did. Instead, scripture says he stood in the breach for the people. He prayed, pleaded, and interceded on their behalf. And he kept doing it. Not once or twice. But repeatedly throughout Israel’s wilderness journey.
When fire broke out because the people complained, Moses prayed.
When Miriam rebelled against him personally and was struck with leprosy, Moses prayed for her healing.
When the people refused to enter the Promised Land because of fear, Moses pleaded for mercy instead of revenge.
When Korah led a rebellion against his leadership, Moses still interceded to stop judgment from spreading through the camp.
Think about that. Most people struggle to pray for those who hurt them once. But Moses kept praying for people who hurt him repeatedly. That is spiritual maturity.
One of the clearest signs of growth is not how powerfully you can rebuke people, but how consistently you can love imperfect people without surrendering to bitterness.
That does not mean enabling dysfunction. It does not mean removing boundaries. And it certainly does not mean pretending sin is acceptable. Moses confronted sin directly and often. But confrontation never cancelled compassion. That balance matters.
Because immature people either become doormats or cynics. They either tolerate everything or give up on everyone. But mature believers learn how to carry both truth and mercy at the same time.
The older I get, the more I realize this: everyone is a work in progress. Some people are just earlier in the process than others.
The people in your life may frustrate you deeply right now. Your spouse, children, friends, family, or coworkers. Some of them may be acting foolishly. Some may be spiritually asleep, deluded, or deceived. Some may be trapped in cycles they seem unable to break. And yes, wisdom sometimes requires distance, boundaries, or difficult conversations.
But we can’t let disappointment harden our hearts. Because one of the enemy’s greatest victories is convincing good people to stop believing other people can change. That they will always be that way. That they are irredeemable, bad seed, or broken beyond repair.
Moses could have quit on Israel dozens of times. But he understood something powerful: people are often at their worst right before God does something transformative in them. It’s not the calm before the storm. It’s the storm before the calm. If Moses had abandoned them emotionally, much of their story never would have unfolded.
And perhaps someone in your life needs the same thing right now: someone willing to keep praying, keep believing, keep loving, and keep standing in the gap for them. Even while they are still acting foolishly.
Galatians says, “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Gal 6:9)
Sometimes the greatest act of faith is simply refusing to give up on people before God is finished with them. Your patience may become the bridge that carries someone into their breakthrough. That makes you like Jesus. How so?
“Therefore, he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf.” Hebrews 7:25
Jesus has a full-time job with me. I can imagine God saying, “Not Issachar again. Seriously? Will he ever get his act together?” But that conversation NEVER happens. Because He loves us. And knows our faults, frailties, blind spots, and sin tendencies.
“For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust.” Psalm 103:14
And regardless of how we are, where we are in our process, what we keep doing over and over and over again: He will never leave us or forsake us. He never gives up on us. So, shouldn’t we be the same towards the people in our lives?
© 2026 I.M. Koen Thanks for reading this. Ruth 2:12 to you and yours! -Issachar
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