Discovering the Christ Who came to heal, not condemn

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Did Jesus Come to Make You Feel Small, Guilty, and Separate from God?

Let’s be honest.

Some of us grew up with a version of Christianity that felt like a bad breakup: we’re constantly told what’s wrong with us, we’re left carrying the guilt, and God seems more absent than present.

The church handed us a Jesus who was less of a Savior and more of a divine guilt-tripper. But was that really the point of Christ’s coming?

Spoiler: no.

Jesus Didn’t Come With a Measuring Stick

If you skim the Gospels, you’ll notice something missing. Jesus doesn’t walk around Galilee handing out shame slips. He doesn’t keep a clipboard of sins to remind people of how far they’ve fallen short.

In fact, He says the opposite:

“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).

That’s not the language of guilt and smallness. That’s the language of freedom, flourishing, and wholeness.

Richard Rohr puts it this way:

“Jesus did not come to change the mind of God about humanity. Jesus came to change the mind of humanity about God.”

If that’s true — and I believe it is — then Jesus isn’t here to make us feel separate from God. He’s here to show us we were never separate in the first place.

Guilt Isn’t the Gospel

Yes, conviction has its place. Paul tells us in Romans 2 that God’s kindness leads us to repentance — not His finger-pointing, not His scolding, not the church’s disapproving glare. Kindness.

[Important side note: Repentance in Greek means to change one’s thinking. Therefore, in the context of His kindness leading us, isn’t it accurate to quote this verse as God’s kindness leads us to think differently about Him?]

But guilt as a way of life?

That’s religion’s cheap knockoff of the real thing. It may motivate for a moment, but it doesn’t transform.

Christian writer Nadia Bolz-Weber says it like only she can:

“Imagine if the Church became a place where we all just stopped lying about what we have or haven’t done. Imagine if we stopped using guilt as currency and shame as entertainment. That’s where grace lives.”

Grace. Not guilt. That’s the gospel.

The Cross Wasn’t God’s Distance, It Was God’s Nearness

The old story goes like this: your sin is so bad that God had to turn His face away from Jesus at the cross. You’ve heard that preached, right? Except it’s not in the Bible.

Jesus quotes Psalm 22 — “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” — but if you read the whole psalm, it doesn’t end with God abandoning Jesus, but victory.

Paul writes it more plainly in 2 Corinthians 5:19:

“God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them.”

Not God turning away. God stepping closer.

Sarah Bessey reminds us:

“The point of the cross was not divine abandonment but divine solidarity. Jesus was showing us that God will go anywhere — even into our suffering and shame — to be with us.”

That doesn’t sound like separation. That sounds like union.

So What Do We Do With the “Small” Feeling?

Here’s the paradox: standing in the presence of Love Himself, of course we’ll feel our smallness. But it’s the good kind. Not “you’re worthless,” but “you’re held.” Not “you’re nothing,” but “you’re part of something so much bigger than yourself.”

Think Isaiah’s vision: “Woe is me, I am ruined!” (Isaiah 6:5). But what happens? God cleanses him, calls him, sends him.

The smallness isn’t his end. It’s the doorway.

A Better Question

So maybe the real question isn’t Did Jesus come to make us feel small, guilty, and separate from God? but rather:

Did Jesus come to show us that we’re beloved, forgiven, and already one with God?

And if that’s the case, then guilt gives way to gratitude, shame to freedom, and distance to belonging.

That’s the gospel I see in Jesus. And it’s way better than the one I grew up with.

© Gary L. Ellis