It's Not The Church’s Job to Validate You; It’s to disciple you

Photo by Sam Balye on Unsplash

People crave validation. They want to be loved, accepted, and affirmed.

That’s natural. I get it.

And much of the criticism (indeed hate) directed against Christians and churches these days is due to people not being sufficiently loved or (in their minds) accepted or affirmed.

In previous articles, I’ve repudiated all churches and church leaders guilty of abuse, toxicity, or callousness. I stand by that. Nevertheless…

When it comes to whether a church makes you feel good…

Here’s a hard truth…

It’s not the role of the church to affirm or validate you.

The purpose of the church, at least according to Jesus, is to disciple you.

Before we get into what Jesus said, let’s talk common sense here.

Religion, by its nature, is…to some extent…exclusive and discriminatory.

Now, don’t get all triggered or reactive or bent out of shape. Take a breath and let’s look at this logically.

I’m not talking about discriminating against people based on color, race, nationality, or anything like that. To be clear, count me among those who support civil rights for all — including those who don’t subscribe to a religious faith. I repudiate all forms of hate and bigotry.

I believe everyone should be treated with dignity and respect. Okay?

That said, religion (by its nature) involves beliefs and behaviors. It involves people orienting their lives toward the divine. That means that, while some religions may be more inclusive than others, all religions believe their take on spirituality is superior to any other take that disagrees with or counters their take.

This is the case with Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Sikhism, Jainism, New Age Spirituality, and so forth. No offense to those religious faiths not mentioned.

All religions have a take or point of view, no matter how broad.

When you approach a particular religion, your sense of reality or your take on spirituality might conflict with the majority of adherents of that particular religion. And guess what?

That’s okay.

If you don’t think it’s okay, then I want to very respectfully say…

Get over yourself!

It’s not the responsibility of other people or communities (religious or otherwise) to automatically validate your beliefs, choices, or even self-proclaimed identity.

The world does NOT revolve around you!

If you believe the world and everyone in it should revolve around you, that makes you every bit as problematic and perhaps dangerous as the most extreme religious fundamentalist.

Let’s hope we’re clear on that. If not, go back and re-read this article up until this point until you are clear. Okay?

Now…let’s get back to Jesus…

Following Jesus’ resurrection and before His ascension, Jesus said these words to His disciples…

And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen. (Matthew 28:18–20, KJV)

According to the King James rendering of Jesus’ “Great Commission,” Jesus said His disciples are to teach “all nations” (that’s all people groups) about Himself (that’s evangelism), then (when they accept), baptize them, and then…teach those who have accepted Christ and been baptized to “observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you.” In other words, teach them what He (Jesus) taught the disciples.

That’s discipleship.

In fact, most contemporary English translations make this clear, quoting Jesus as saying to “make disciples” of all the nations (or people groups).

The church doesn’t exist to automatically validate you and/or help you self-actualize (to use Maslow’s term). It exists to make disciples of Jesus.

Does that mean you should be required to join a church and be “discipled”? Absolutely not! Like I’ve said numerous times…I believe in religious freedom. No one should be forced to join a church. And no government should impose religious orthodoxy on its citizens.

But if you’re going to voluntarily unite with a Christian church, don’t complain when that church disagrees with you or encourages you to follow Jesus instead of your own heart or wishes.

Such a church may make you uncomfortable, but it’s doing its job.

© Brian Tubbs

First Published in Faith Renewed on Medium

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